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| - Blondes are a super intelligent race of uberspies who masquerade as blundering idiots by the authority of Um Bungo. While the pretence of being a "yella bellied slob" is some sacrifice on their part (usually the ultimate sacrifice: death or an afternoon spent entirely in the company of Barry Scott) it allows them to collect top notch information on trusting' law abiding' regular' normal, almost robot like, mundane, ice cream bearing (as in a bear that eats people whilst freshening his breath with ice cream)people. Blondes appear to enjoy limb throwing and dimemberment but actually privately engage in charades and after eights once anyone with an IQ above pink leaves the room. Blondes send off their covertly gathered information to the Cheerios branch on earth (turn left at the wrong volcan
- They can often be the found at local goth shops trying to look all hardcore wearing black. They say it's slimming, which, of course, it is. And, like, totally, all blonds are like that. Like, whatever! But like, not all of them. Like, most blonds in the world are, like, totally fake. Omg rite?? that's so like, yuck. Like, gag me with a flippin' chopstick(or penis)! But, like, some natural blonds aren't, like, like that. But, like, natural blonds are very hard to find. They're like an endangered species or somethin'. Totally
- Many of Smeyers's quotes lead Antis to believe that she was teased as a child; their undercurrents of bitterness and anxiety about not fitting in are evidence towards this. This quote from her website is very revealing (in a bad way). This proves that Smeyer is a jealous, narcissistic bitch who can't get over the past and leave it behind in order to focus on the current time. Beauty? Subjective? No way! And how does she call human beings "Barbies"? UGH. Not to mention that she put those poor boys names into her books. What could anyone possibly do to deserve that?
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| abstract
| - Blondes are a super intelligent race of uberspies who masquerade as blundering idiots by the authority of Um Bungo. While the pretence of being a "yella bellied slob" is some sacrifice on their part (usually the ultimate sacrifice: death or an afternoon spent entirely in the company of Barry Scott) it allows them to collect top notch information on trusting' law abiding' regular' normal, almost robot like, mundane, ice cream bearing (as in a bear that eats people whilst freshening his breath with ice cream)people. Blondes appear to enjoy limb throwing and dimemberment but actually privately engage in charades and after eights once anyone with an IQ above pink leaves the room. Blondes send off their covertly gathered information to the Cheerios branch on earth (turn left at the wrong volcano) and if in doubt ask Harry Potter for some sort of direction; if he groans in a high pitched voice he means go forward, slide to the right, take it back now y'all, and then your there. If he moans in a low pitched voice or talks in standard english RUN!! (Or walk he won't harm you either way).
- Many of Smeyers's quotes lead Antis to believe that she was teased as a child; their undercurrents of bitterness and anxiety about not fitting in are evidence towards this. This quote from her website is very revealing (in a bad way). This proves that Smeyer is a jealous, narcissistic bitch who can't get over the past and leave it behind in order to focus on the current time. Beauty? Subjective? No way! And how does she call human beings "Barbies"? UGH. Not to mention that she put those poor boys names into her books. What could anyone possibly do to deserve that? In the beginning of Twilight, Bella is intensely nervous about her move, believing that she cannot be popular because she does not look like someone "from the valley of the sun" (Pg 10, Twilight). She really does not look the way someone would expect an Arizonan to, that is, a cheerleader type, pretty and blond. In other words, she's upset because she isn't a stereotype. One wonders whether Smeyer was teased by girls (in Scottsdale) and made to feel uncomfortable for not being a blond, which she (and a good deal of society) holds as the ideal for beauty. It is highly ironic that Meyer seems to feel as if the world unfairly favors blonds as being the highest standard of beauty, when Hollywood's bevy of beauties and hotties are chock full of brunettes, namely Angelina Jolie, Kate Beckinsale, Megan Fox, Natalie Portman, Liv Tyler...the list goes on and on. Stephenie Meyer seems to have significant dislike towards anyone who resembles the "Barbie" ideal, and while it is understandable to dislike both a doll who looks like she vacations in the sunny side of the Uncanny Valley and society's prejudice towards certain "looks", the author seems to be almost bitter on this subject. This is made slightly hypocritical as she often includes characters who mesh perfectly with her own standard of beauty.
- They can often be the found at local goth shops trying to look all hardcore wearing black. They say it's slimming, which, of course, it is. And, like, totally, all blonds are like that. Like, whatever! But like, not all of them. Like, most blonds in the world are, like, totally fake. Omg rite?? that's so like, yuck. Like, gag me with a flippin' chopstick(or penis)! But, like, some natural blonds aren't, like, like that. But, like, natural blonds are very hard to find. They're like an endangered species or somethin'. Totally Anyways, blonde isn't technically just a hair color it is also the way a person acts: checks out their looks every second of the day, just plain stupid, tend to be random all of the time. This is a blonde. Well that's it for now.... Oh, and if you didn't get most of that cause of some big words...you're a blond or a blonde whichever u prefer to be.
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