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| - I will have it from switching point of views so here is the code- Bold= Ashfur and Italics= Squirrelflight. Oh, and I just noticed (like a day after I posted this) that I spelled Squirrelflight wrong in the tidal, so... sorry, I think. This is my other songfic, Forever and Always. Why was Squirrelflight so confusing? Sometimes she acted like she loved him the way he liked her; as more than a friend, a mate maybe? He wanted that so badly but... It seemed like she still liked Brambleclaw sometimes... Ashfur is always protecting me. I don't need him to do that. He is always pushing me up above everybody else. He is a good friend but he is way to protective. Why doesn't he see that I don't need him to act like that for me? Brambleclaw never did that... at least not in the way Ashfur does... Sometimes I like to test how far he will go for me. Ashfur jumps to my defense, Fights my battles, and will protect me from anything. Sometimes when I am upset with him I will just through myself in dangers path so Ashfur will do his silly 'you could get hurt speech'. I know it's wrong, but... It just feels good. I don't think Squirrelflight does love me. I guess that is me dreaming. And it's a dream that would never come true. She gets so mad whenever I try to show my affection. It's frustrating. Sometimes I want to explode. She just doesn't see me. Squirrelflight's blind to me. She did it. She chose Brambleclaw. Squirrelflight never loved me. She was faking it. It was only a way to get what she wanted from me! I loved her; and she turned her back on me... No... I overreacted. I accused Brambleclaw of things that aren't true. I judged him from his birth, and if I judge him by his birth I should be judging Squirrelflight from hers. I guess I am in the wrong here. But Squirrelflight shouldn't have played with my feelings like that... I hate Brambleclaw. Brambleclaw's father killed my mother! Squirrelflight startled me with her defensiveness when I said that. Why can't she just see reason? She thinks I am holding her back! I have done nothing but protect her. But she won't see my side now. She had been pushed too far. I've lost her. Ashfur said that I was throwing away our relationship! What was he talking about? I tried to tell him we could still be friends, but that only made him angrier. Why can't we be friends? Is it really that hard? Does Ashfur really hate Brambleclaw that much? Does he love me? Actually, that makes the most sense. Ashfur loves me. He never told me though... I wish he had gone out and said it; then things might be different. I should have paid more attention. All I tried to do was love her. But Squirrelflight never noticed. I can heardly bear it to see her with that murderer. He will be one; I can feel it. If all goes well, I will have vengeance on Squirrelflight by dawn. Her father will be dead, at Brambleclaw's paws. Her failed listening will make her pay the price. I know that he doesn't want to be my friend. I left him alone, but... I guess it seems like he only hates me more. I really would be his friend if he would let me, but he won't. His rivalry with Brambleclaw for me was too much. I've lost him. Forever. I got a way to punish Squirrelflight. She is going to pay for not noticing me. Her kits are on the brink of death. The clan will banish me, probably. Hate me forever. But it will all be worth it. To see her suffer the way I did. I have been obsessed. I was ready to help kill my clan leader for the vengeance. But now I will kill Hollyleaf, Jayfeather, and Lionblaze. Squirrelflight will suffer the way I did. Ashfur hates me? I... I always thought his fight was with Brambleclaw. But... No. If he loved me; he would be happy for me, not do this. But it doesn't matter. I need to save my sisters kits. But what of Ashfur tells the clan? It doesn't matter. Nothing does. I need to save them. I need to do anything for them. They aren't her kits? Lionblaze, Jayfeather, and Hollyleaf aren't her kits? Fine. If she doesn't care then I don't care about them. They can live. Wait. She really told me that? No! Squirrelflight does care, but not enough. I need something bigger. I will get it. She can't go farther than this. But I will make her. If he had just told me that all could have been avoided. I can't believe he is doing this. At least he let Lionblaze, Hollyleaf, and Jayfeather out. I can't believe that he did that. He has changed so much. I don't think this is really him. I will forgive him. I know I can, and I will. I stalked past Squirrelflight and I saw the look she gave me. It was different than before. I saw it. And I know it. She really hates me. It is the worst feeling I have had yet... Lionblaze and Jayfeather have tried to reason with me. They are so desperate to save their reputations they will not stop and look at it from my side of the picture. I was ignored and I had my heart broken. They don't understand. I will not give in. Hollyleaf jumped out onto me. Unlike her brothers she didn't use words. She was going to get rid of me- permanently. I can see why she is doing it. And suddenly I understand the fear her and her siblings must have had, and my fear for after that will be making it into StarClan. I am a villain. I have tried to kill cats. Will they accept me? It is over quickly. I hate Hollyleaf. But I know I deserved it. It was my fault. All of this.
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