About: Bonsai Kitten   Sponge Permalink

An Entity of Type : owl:Thing, within Data Space : 134.155.108.49:8890 associated with source dataset(s)

The practice of potted cats originated in Japan in the early 15th century, just before the beginning of the Fap Wars. At the time, all Japanese art was dominated by Hello Kitty merchandise. The Emperor of Japan, though resplendent in his pastel pink armor, was interested in developing new art forms. The rest of the Japanese nobility was just sick of being up to their eyeballs in Hello Kitty. The Japanese, on the other hand, did not have a NEDM fetish but did recognize the potential for bone binding. They found that it was easier to reshape bones by placing them in pots.

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  • Bonsai Kitten
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  • The practice of potted cats originated in Japan in the early 15th century, just before the beginning of the Fap Wars. At the time, all Japanese art was dominated by Hello Kitty merchandise. The Emperor of Japan, though resplendent in his pastel pink armor, was interested in developing new art forms. The rest of the Japanese nobility was just sick of being up to their eyeballs in Hello Kitty. The Japanese, on the other hand, did not have a NEDM fetish but did recognize the potential for bone binding. They found that it was easier to reshape bones by placing them in pots.
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abstract
  • The practice of potted cats originated in Japan in the early 15th century, just before the beginning of the Fap Wars. At the time, all Japanese art was dominated by Hello Kitty merchandise. The Emperor of Japan, though resplendent in his pastel pink armor, was interested in developing new art forms. The rest of the Japanese nobility was just sick of being up to their eyeballs in Hello Kitty. In 1423, a Chinese ambassador visited Japan, and brought with him a group of concubines. The concubines, like many women in China, had been subjected to the practice of foot binding where by their feet were constricted from an early age. This practice was an easy and more-or-less painless procedure which produced small, beautiful feet. It also proved that the Chinese women made easy gimps. The Japanese, on the other hand, did not have a NEDM fetish but did recognize the potential for bone binding. They found that it was easier to reshape bones by placing them in pots. In the year 1452, the first potted kitten was attempted. The Japanese found it was completely adorable, highly convenient, and much better than all of the other animals they had tried to pot. In hindsight, this conclusion was somewhat predictable when you consider the whole Hello Kitty thing. Potted cat, or Bonsai Kitten, as it became known, enjoyed a period of popularity in Japan. It was still practiced when Commodore Matthew Perry, aka The Fucking MAN visited Japan and was given a Bonsai Kitten as a gift by his hosts. One incident, in the 1950's turn tragedy after Japanese scientists tried to pot a lizard, however fed him growth hormones rather than relaxants, the monster they created ravaged the town and was named Godzilla. Similar incidents include Mothman and when trying to pot chuck norris' they failed and instead every potter got potted himself, only to forever be up andy dick's ass.-- Ultraman.
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