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| - I have walked in this cold mist with no sense of direction, no destination and no goal to reach. My mind held no thoughts while I walked. Things such as sentience, time and purpose had no meaning in this vast space. Concepts did not matter for in this barren plain there was only nothingness, a nothingness that was absent in the Force. However, I did not feel the pain of one being unable to touch the Force. At first I believed that I had found myself in the heart of annihilation but the more I traveled and the more I continued my path through this frozen ground, my arms ripping the transparent waves that I had initially mistaken for air, the more I realized that this place was numbness. A numbness to ambition, function and intent. This nihilistic existence did not hurt me but without the Fo
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| abstract
| - I have walked in this cold mist with no sense of direction, no destination and no goal to reach. My mind held no thoughts while I walked. Things such as sentience, time and purpose had no meaning in this vast space. Concepts did not matter for in this barren plain there was only nothingness, a nothingness that was absent in the Force. However, I did not feel the pain of one being unable to touch the Force. At first I believed that I had found myself in the heart of annihilation but the more I traveled and the more I continued my path through this frozen ground, my arms ripping the transparent waves that I had initially mistaken for air, the more I realized that this place was numbness. A numbness to ambition, function and intent. This nihilistic existence did not hurt me but without the Force flowing through my veins I unwittingly gave into this apathy and now, I walk as a shell, a thin and hollow life. I do not know when I too will become a part of this. “Anakin…” a distant voiced called out My eyes snapped open and in an instant I raised my head. My senses became alert while I looked all around to find who had called for me in this dark place. “Who’s there?” I called out with the manner of a man desperate to end his loneliness “Hello?” Then I heard screams that seemed echo through me. They were not loud but they were potent. I could feel the agony that radiated off them. It was the only thing I could feel and it coursed through my entire being, my very existence. I did not call out for I knew I would be given no answer. I ran, trying to follow the screams that had affected me so. They were the screams of a man and a woman suffering and I felt the need to save them from their pain. I ran but my surroundings did not change. I refused to give up hope while I fought on through my fatigue. My soul needed another more than my body needed rest. However, I couldn’t take another step further. I got down on one knee to catch my breath. Despite my sense of urgency, my body had limits that I could push no longer. In this moment I realized that the screams had ceased. “Have you given up young Jedi?” a voice tainted with malevolence said “Will you succumb to me as many of your beloved have?” The voice- it brought despair into my heart and froze my skin with coldness of fear. With my eyes wide with horror, I turned. What I saw could not be easily described. What I saw was not complex rather, it was too simple, too vague for my words to explain. A shroud of pure darkness appeared before me though it was not darkness itself, not truly. In it’s hands held two people, both naked and twisted by a nightmarish experience that I did not dare fathom. Although I saw no physical damage, I could feel their existence and the affliction of self emanating off them. I knew the two… Tahiri Veila and my own brother, Jacen Solo. I grasped my lightsaber and with the little courage I still had, turned fully and faced their tormentor. “Who are you?” I demanded, igniting the blade “What do you want?” I could see no face but I could feel this darkness and its enmity. Then… it spoke. “I have no want for I merely exist” “Lies!” I shouted “Is that so?” it said with an ominous dark tone that almost had tangency “Then you do not understand the Force” I looked at it with a rage that stemmed from my doubt and uncertainty “You are not the Force! You can’t be!” “I am the Force” it said with a power that I could feel coursing through every molecule that comprised of my being “What you see Anakin Solo is the molding of cruelty and hatred by the actions of your brother Jacen and his apprentice” “Release them…” I said weakly, trying to center myself from this overwhelming power that weighed heavily on my body “Do it!” “Release them? I am not the captive here. I am the result of your brother’s choices. He wields me with his cold hands and draws upon my essence and corrupts it” I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists. It couldn’t be… not him and not her “N-no…” “Do not be afraid, I cannot harm you for I do not exist in such away” “I don’t understand..” I admitted while I mustered all the strength I could to stand “ Release them!” I repeated Nothing. Everything reverted back to the silence and nothingness that created this place. I found myself standing with my heart beating fast. I looked all over but I had returned to the void. However, this time, I had not come alone. Laying there in front of me were the two people I came to rescue. “Anakin…” the voice called out I stood between them and laid my hand gently on my brother bare shoulder. He had no expression on his face which gave me chills. “I’m damned” he said in an unfeeling manner “I’m sorry” His body disappeared and although I had no way of knowing, I assumed that his spirit had joined this quiet torment. I looked over to Tahiri whose body remained. I carried her in my arms and continued on my journey. Was I dead? Was she dead? It didn’t matter because I could feel something that both swirled deep inside me and radiated off my flesh. I could feel an exit, a way out of this cold land. Thanks to Jacen, I had a purpose now. I had to bring Tahiri to wherever I was being lead to. Although I couldn’t join her, I knew that I would be leaving this place as well.
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