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| - Mario and Luigi: Stupid Mario Brothers! Mario: Episode 7! Bowser: Uh, hey guys, I got really bored last night... No, you have no idea... I ate a goomba... It tasted like raw fish... I've been constipated all day... Just thought you'd like to know... I'M GETTING SO BORED OVER HERE WITHOUT YOU GUYS SO PLEASE COME BACK... NOW!!!!!!!! Luigi: Wait a second! He ate a what?! Mario: My goodness, it says he ate a Goomba! Poor thing... I sure hope it was dead before Bowser ate it! Imagine being in Bowser's digestive system! Luigi: Y'know, Yoshi ate a Goomba once; it took him three months to crap out that thing! Mario: Luigi, that's disgusting! Luigi: Well what do you want to do now, Mario? Mario: Want to go start a rock band? Luigi: Okay! Narrator: Audition number one! Mario: So, uh, how would you contribute to the band? Wario: Well, I play guitar... and I think I'm pretty good! Luigi: And how do you get along with-a other people? Wario: Well, people love me, I love them! We all just love each other! Mario: So how will you be able to make it to each rehearsal, I mean, what is your mode of transportation? Wario: Motorcycle! [imitating engine start] Eh eh eh! Narrator: Audition number two! Mario: So why do you want to join-a the band? Ash: Uh... I like music... a lot Luigi: So you don't really play an instrument, do you? A: [surprised]: Oh! I, uh, play the PokéFlute, here! Mario: Thank you, but you're just not what we're looking for! Ash: Ah, Jigglypuff! [Ash exits the house] Luigi: Next! Narrator: Audition number one-hundred and thirty-three! Mario: So, impress me in the next ten seconds or get the hell out! [Luigi slumps down on the table, exhausted] Waluigi: I'm-a Waluigi. I play the keyboard, I can work well with people, I don't pee in the sink, I get to rehearsal on time, I don't-a play the PokéFlute and I hate The Golden Compass. Mario and Luigi: You're in! [A black screen caption reads, "Rehearsal For Johnny Mushroom And The Kingdoms"] Narrator: Rehearsal for Johnny Mushroom and the Kingdoms! Mario: Now remember everybody, no shoes because I just waxed the floor. Okay, here we go. And-a one, and-a two and-a! Wario: DIE!!! Mario: Y'know what guys, somehow I really don't think this is going to work out. Why don't we, y'know, write some better songs. [Mario sheepishly grins] Narrator: RMA Records presents the best in musical culture this century! Narrator: Johnny Mushroom and the Kingdoms, featuring the very best in nostalgic old school rock and roll pop! [Sitting on a staircase, Mario sings various parody covers] Mario: ♫I'm stompin' on Goombas! Whoah-oh-oh! And don't it feel good, hey!♫ Mario: ♫Yeah, because I wish they all could be Mushroom Kingdom girls!♫ Mario: ♫Hey now, you're a plumber! Get your plunger! Go plunge!♫ Narrator: And who could forget all your favorite hits like!: All You Need Is Gloves Trapped In The Green Pipe Do The Buttstomp Plumer's Paradise (sic) Just Plunge It 64 Pixels To Reach My Heart Smells Like Bowser] Mario: ♫Hey! Like a plumber! Plungin' for the very first time! Like a plumber! Got your toilet, on my mind!♫ Mario: ♫You toss me right round, baby, right round! Like a Koopa, baby, right round, round round!♫ Narrator: And who could forget? Mario and Luigi: ♫Who is this Bowser all about, keeps sending Koopa Troopas out. He's sending letters in the mail, I think I'll swing him by his tail. He's a Koopa, and a Turtle. An evolved form, of a Squirtle? [Ash juts in for a second] He lives in the, Mushroom Kingdom. He's a big jerk, and he's real dumb. Always kidnaps, Princess Toadstool. Wait minute, guess that's cool. Yeah! Toads! Mushrooms!♫ Narrator: And remember, this album is not available anywhere because it doesn't exist at all, so don't call now! Batteries not included, adult assembly required. Mario: You know what guys, living life on the highroad was great and everything, but, I quit the music business so we're breaking up. Bye-bye! Wario: Weh. Waluigi: Oh well... Luigi: See ya guys! Adios! Wario: Have fun. Richard Alvarez: So, impress me in the next ten s- [laughs] Richard Alvarez: So, impress me in the next ten seconds or get the- [laughs] Chris Muller: And, and w- Dane Cook: Oh, I, brought my PokéFlute, here. Dane Cook: Shut up, it's-
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