About: Pope Anacletus   Sponge Permalink

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Pope Anacletus (aka "Just-Plain Cletus") was the third Catholic pope after St. Peter and St Linus. His ambition to be the first Scientologist pope was thwarted when the battery in his e-meter ran out two years later. He was also the first pope to be born in the city of Rome. The Liberstomas Pontificalis, of Book of Popes, cites Cletus’ birthplace as Springfield, Italy, a suburb of Los Angeles. However, the Liber Rectus Pontificalis, or Book Straight from the Pope's Mouth, states that he was born in the Vatican's Shriner's Memorial Hospital. Most experts subscribe to the latter theory, based on their general agreement that Springfield probably did not have a maternity ward when Cletus was born.

AttributesValues
rdfs:label
  • Pope Anacletus
rdfs:comment
  • Pope Anacletus (aka "Just-Plain Cletus") was the third Catholic pope after St. Peter and St Linus. His ambition to be the first Scientologist pope was thwarted when the battery in his e-meter ran out two years later. He was also the first pope to be born in the city of Rome. The Liberstomas Pontificalis, of Book of Popes, cites Cletus’ birthplace as Springfield, Italy, a suburb of Los Angeles. However, the Liber Rectus Pontificalis, or Book Straight from the Pope's Mouth, states that he was born in the Vatican's Shriner's Memorial Hospital. Most experts subscribe to the latter theory, based on their general agreement that Springfield probably did not have a maternity ward when Cletus was born.
sameAs
dcterms:subject
dbkwik:uncyclopedi...iPageUsesTemplate
Birthplace
  • Springfield, Italy
term start
  • 79(xsd:integer)
Birth Date
  • Circa Unknown
Deathplace
  • Rome, Italy
Popular name
  • (Cletus The Yokel)
  • Saint Anacletus
term end
  • 88(xsd:integer)
death date
  • Unknownish
Successor
zombified
  • In Utero
Birth name
  • Cletus Delroy
Predecessor
abstract
  • Pope Anacletus (aka "Just-Plain Cletus") was the third Catholic pope after St. Peter and St Linus. His ambition to be the first Scientologist pope was thwarted when the battery in his e-meter ran out two years later. He was also the first pope to be born in the city of Rome. The Liberstomas Pontificalis, of Book of Popes, cites Cletus’ birthplace as Springfield, Italy, a suburb of Los Angeles. However, the Liber Rectus Pontificalis, or Book Straight from the Pope's Mouth, states that he was born in the Vatican's Shriner's Memorial Hospital. Most experts subscribe to the latter theory, based on their general agreement that Springfield probably did not have a maternity ward when Cletus was born. Nevertheless, it is reasonable to assume that Cletus’ parents, as members of the highly respectable Delroy Lindo family, cleverly hid the fact that Cletus’ father was also his uncle. While they were later forgiven for their sins, God gave them a constant reminder of their incestuous acts in the form of a commemorative trophy. Cletus was zombified in utero, and therefore, he was technically the first pope “chosen” for zombification. All other popes have been either zombified near death or shortly thereafter, when it was somewhat more convenient.
is Successor of
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