| abstract
| - Mordecai and Rigby: (Cheering to the T.V.) Car-ter! Bri-iggs! Car-ter! Bri-iggs! Car-ter! Bri-iggs! Sammy: Hey! Briggs: Looky what we got here, Carter. Sammy: (Angered) Why am I being arrested!? Briggs: Attempted hit and run. Carter: (Sly) Ah, Slammy Fenderbend. Sammy: (Defensive) That's not my name! Carter: We know you work for Escobito, Sammy! Davis: Carter and Briggs! This is Commissioner Davis. You two are loose canons! Briggs: (Sarcastic) Whatever, Commissioner Lame-is! Davis: (Angered) Carter! Briggs!! Carter and Briggs: Awww! Ye-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-Ah!! Narrator: Next week on "Carter and Briggs"! Carter and Briggs: Ye-e-e-e-e-e-AH!! Carter: Escobito~! Rigby: (To Mordecai) You know what I like about this show? (Crosses arms) The realism. Mordecai: And their custom 1985 police cruiser engineered for doing donuts. Rigby: (High-pitched) Donuts for Show-Nuts! Rigby: (With his fist in the air) Best cop show evah! Announcer on the TV: Would you like to meet Carter and Briggs? Rigby: (To the T.V.) Yes! Announcer: They'll be at Morton Horner Arena this weekend judging the 8th Annual Donut Spinathon! (Deeper voice) Spin-a-thon! Rigby: Donuts! Mordecai: We do donuts all the time! Rigby: (High-pitched) For Show-nuts! Announcer: Whoever holds the longest spin will win! (Deeper voice) WIN! Rigby: (Anxious) Win what? Win whaaat!? Announcer: You and a friend could win a guest starring role on "Carter and Briggs"! Rigby: Ah! Awesome! Mordecai and Rigby: (At the same time respectively) We should-! We really should-! Rigby: (Pointing at Mordecai) You go first! Mordecai: Dude. Dude...Duuude. We gotta enter that contest! Rigby: That's exactly what I was gonna say! Are we on the same level or what! Mordecai and Rigby: (They raise their arms) Who-OOOOOOOOAH!! Narrator: And now it's time for "Crime She Typed"! Pops: (Excited) Ooo! What's she going to type this time? Mordecai and Rigby: Ooooooooooah! (They slide off to the side) Awwww... Mordecai and Rigby: Oooooooah! (They slide off again) Rigby: Aww... Mordecai: Aw man! Rigby: Dude...Maybe we're not as good at this as we thought... Mordecai: Yeah...Who do we know that's really good at spinning donuts? Mordecai: Muscle Man. We need your help. Muscle Man: Can't you toolboxes say that I'm busy organizing my toolboxes? Rigby: There's a donut-spinning contest, and we need to win! Muscle Man: (Confused) But donut sports are off-season. Mordecai: But Carter and Briggs are holding it! Muscle Man: What!? That show's for babies, bro! Mordecai and Rigby: Come on! Without your help we can't-! Muscle Man: (Interrupting) But.....I do love spinning donuts. (Crosses arms) Your first lesson is tomorrow at dawn. Mordecai and Rigby: (Gives an aggravated sigh) Rigby: (Whining) Why do we have to get up so early? Mordecai: (Exhausted) I'm gonna need more coffee... Muscle Man: Coffee is for people who don't have adrenaline! Rigby: (Teasing Mordecai) Yeah! Get some adrena-! Rigby: (Whining) My coffee~! Muscle Man: (Taking charge) Now listen up! (Climbs on top of the cart, making souns of struggling) Donuts are an ancient practice that probably started in some foreign country by old wizards, or something. The number one rule is to keep your turn radius small. Rigby: Turn radius? Muscle Man: (Jumps off the cart, pulls out a rod, and draws a 10' diameter circle in the dirt.) Keep your front wheel in this circle. (Points at the circle with finger.) The smaller the radius, the longer you can hold the spin. So let's get to work on your radius! Mordecai and Rigby: Aww... Muscle Man: Augh! I told you! Hold the turn radius! Now do it again! (Blows his whistle) Muscle Man: Hold it! Hold it! Muscle Man: Master the radius. Muscle Man: The smaller the radius, the longer you hold. (Mordecai and Rigby keep doing smaller and smaller radiuses) Muscle Man: Whoooooooo! (Dusts flies towards him, making him cough. He then walks to Mordecai and Rigby.) Good form, nice circle work, and you cut your turn radius in half! Rigby: Alright! Let's get it down to zero! Muscle Man: Whoa! You wanna drive in a vortex, bro? Rigby: Huh? Muscle Man: Zero turning radius is only theoretical. When you find that sweet spot: Infinite donuts! Muscle Man: But you've gotta spin in a vortex. (Twirls finger around.) It's too dangerous to attempt. (Becomes reassuring) I think you guys are ready now. Congratulations, losers. Skips: Alright, fellas. The cart is ready to go. Got it all tuned up. Refreshed the fluids, filled her with special high octane fuel, and installed extra bald, no friction tires. With these babies, you'll be spinning donuts for days. (Nods) Mordecai and Rigby: Thanks, Skips! Skips: Don't mention it. Good luck out there. Benson: Not so fast. I heard all about your little contest. There's no way I'll let you guys do it. (Points at Mordecai and Rigby) Mordecai and Rigby: Why not!? Benson: Not unless you wear these on T.V. if you win. (Holds up a shirt) Mordecai: Oh. Let me see. (Mordecai is handed the shirt and holds it up) Mordecai: (Trying to sound sort of convincing) Wow...Great design...(Nervously laughs) Mordecai: Oh man...These guys are pretty serious. Muscle Man: Don't get psyched out, bros! It's not about the equipment. It's about heart!...Wait...That doesn't sound right...It's about turn radius! And you two got that down! Mordecai: Thanks, Muscle Man. Rigby: Dude, look! (Points upward) It's Carter and Briggs! (Carter and Briggs are waving to the audience) Briggs: (Into a microphone) Aaaalright! You guys ready for some donuts? Briggs: I can't hear you! I said, "Are you reeeady!?" Briggs: Thank you! My hearing's not so good! (Raises arm) And now, whoever holds the longest spin will win!
|
![[RDF Data]](/fct/images/sw-rdf-blue.png)