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| - Why was I so afraid of joining everyone in that pool? Really, there was absolutely nothing to be afraid of. So, why am I still afraid to get into the pool in my bathing suit? I stared down at everyone in here. It was almost 10:30 at night, and a half moon was shimmering in the reflection of the water. However, it was hard to spot that refletion itself, due to the random splashes made by all my new classmates there. They looked happy. They looked nice. One girl, named Bridgette, was dancing around by the edge of the pool in her aqua-coloured, skinny bathing suit. Her friend, whom I was pretty sure was named Courtney, was cheering her on. Eventually other students followed her. I sat in my beach chair away from the pool, in my black bathing suit which you can't see under my beige raincoat that I was clutching. I continued to stare out at the people playing around in the water. I coudn't hear anything over the blasting noise, but I thought I heard Bridgette yell, "Sadie, come on! Let's swim!" But of course that should've been my imagination. Bridgette would never say that. Neither would her friend, neither would anyone here. They were supposed to put down people they didn't like, just like my old school. But why weren't they? Was it because they didn't notice me in my swimsuit? Truth is, I looked horrible. I looked heavy and gross in this suit. The black didn't compliment anything. If I took off my raincoat, everyone in this pool would laugh. Everyone. Then I'd be remembered as Girl With The Ugly Swimsuit, which people will tease me about. Then I'll move. Again. That was what I knew was going to happen. It happened to me and my brother at my old school, and it will happen again if I dared take off my raincoat. So I decided to stay put. Wait, how can I stay put? I wanted to have fun. I mean, I haven't been swimming since two years ago when our family took a trip to Miami. Someone at my new school handed me an invitation to come here, whom I thought was a scam at the time, but I came anyway to see how it was like. And of course, Haley's backyard pool looks shiny and amazing, especially in the night, with the blue porch lights on. It looks so pretty! And it looks so fun! That's why I'm going to jump in! I proceeded to take off my raincoat, but then I stopped. I can't judge people by how they act in a pool. I don't pay attention to much of them at school, but I think they act exactly the way my old classmates did at my old school. Isn't that the way high school works? So, what if they saw me in this suit, and do the same thing to me like my old school did to my brother? My brother Mark was big like me. And I never, ever thought we were even that big, but the kids at our old school made it seem that way. They had pummeled me in the halls, ripped my homework, hit me off campus, a lot of petty things. I'd complained to my teachers and my parents a lot, and when it looked like they were going to do something about it, they replied with a simple "It'll get better." Guess what? It had never gotten "better." The same old teasing stuff happened up until March. But I never realised how much my younger brother was getting hurt too. And just because he's a boy and more vunerable, he always got the worse end of the teasing. Once I remeber that he came home late with blood on his face. My mom and I were horrified. Finally, my mom said that we could transfer to another school next September. I was so glad, and I'd told my brother that things will get better. I'm such a hypocrite! Nothing had gotten better! It was only March at the time, and we had three entire months to go. I wish I had realised everything sooner. My brother later had gotten the idea that all high schools were like this, picking on everyone who was different. I guess, because of that, he wasn't thrilled at all about going to a new high school, because he thought the same thing was going to happen. So, on June 16th, the first day of glorious summer, I'd ran to my brother's room to celebrate our depature from that school... and only had found my brother sleeping. And he never woke up, he just lay there with pills in his right hand. Tears streamed from my face as I continued to sit on the beach chair. Was all of Canada and America all like that? Like Mark thought? I was never completely convinced that, but all the time I feel scared. I felt that if I had one little slip up I'd be the laughing stock of this school, too. Just thinking about that changed my mind and made me want to go back home. Maybe I should get homeschooled. As I stood up from my chair, I proceeded to leave, and felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Bridgette. "Sadie, what are you doing? Didn't you hear me calling you?" She said with a grin on her face. I stammered slightly. Seeing her bright, annoying, happy face wasn't something I was used to. "I did, but I didn't want t-to come in." "Why not..." "Becuase I don't like my bathing suit." I clutched the collar of my raincoat. "What?" Bridgette said. Her face frowned for a second. "There's no way a swimsuit of yours can look bad. You're pretty enough, Sadie! Now let me see it." Did this blonde just call me pretty? For that moment, I trusted her. So I gently unbuttoned my raincoat and let it fall off. I stood awkwardly in front of Bridgette, my eyes preparing to close shut. "Oh wow! I just LOVE the sequins at the bottom! Told you it wasn't bad, Sadie! Now get into the water!" Bridgette yelled. Sehe ran over to the edge of the shallow end. Wow. A compliment. Maybe I should get into the water. I followed closely behind Bridgette, becuase I figured if I was behind a popular girl I would get made fun of. Without thinking I jumped into the crowded pool. It was really cool, yet really big and filled at the same time. The giant cluster of people in the pool didn't even look at me. I was very glad about that. A minute later, Courtney swam over to show Bridgette something. For a moment, her head glanced my way. And she simply said "Nice bathing suit!" and left with Bridgette. However, a huge smile and relief came over my face. I played volleyball with the other kids until about midnight. My classmates only made comments about how well I played. I was surprised. I can't believe I had been ingoring these people for so many days. My mom had definetely picked the right school. And even if she hadn't, I realised, there was always going to be some school filled with only nice people like here. I feel like for the fist time I am probaby going to enjoy it here. And I am going to tell the world that I am not going to get hung up on one thing- and I hope everyone, living or dead, is listening. Image:Crowdsadie.png
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