abstract
| - Link I was born 33 BC. He was born to two elves that lived in the North. This was back when ancient guys ruled the lands. Link I often hung out at the beach. So, when Dinner emerged from the water, they argued about whether or not Link I was a pony. They agreed to disagree, and became friends. After Hyrule was created, Link I became the royal adviser, leader of the military, and about as in charge as you can be without actually being king. Link I also helped King Dinner tell the difference between Regular Juice and Death Juice, show him how to kill monsters without sticking a sword in himself, and even how to use the bathroom properly. Link I died during the year 11 AD. He was killed by King Dinner after Link I smacked him and said "Bad king! Quit being such a moron! You don't have toes you idiot!" King Dinner drowned him, and Link I was buried. A zombie climbed out, and people thought this was Link I for several years, but it turns out it was just King Dinner wearing a mask.
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