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FUCKIN’ ‘ARD is a 0000AD album by Andre The Giant. The album is shunned as being promotion for Andre’s ‘ardness’ as the album mainly consists of tests of his ‘ardness’, often to the disgust of others. The official genre of the album, oddly, is ‘Sausageman’, credited to Andre. The album contains occasional music but mainly is recordings of the exploits outlined by the song titles.

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  • FUCKIN' 'ARD
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  • FUCKIN’ ‘ARD is a 0000AD album by Andre The Giant. The album is shunned as being promotion for Andre’s ‘ardness’ as the album mainly consists of tests of his ‘ardness’, often to the disgust of others. The official genre of the album, oddly, is ‘Sausageman’, credited to Andre. The album contains occasional music but mainly is recordings of the exploits outlined by the song titles.
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  • FUCKIN’ ‘ARD is a 0000AD album by Andre The Giant. The album is shunned as being promotion for Andre’s ‘ardness’ as the album mainly consists of tests of his ‘ardness’, often to the disgust of others. The official genre of the album, oddly, is ‘Sausageman’, credited to Andre. The album contains occasional music but mainly is recordings of the exploits outlined by the song titles. The album begins with a brief introduction by Andre (much in the fashion of “J’adore LSD”) which sets the tone for the rest of the album. It is notable that the album contains an early writing credit for a then –1940 John Lennon, who would later re-use and re-name the song in The Beatles. Once on his quest to prove his ‘ardness’, Andre stumbles upon Tutankhamen’s tomb. With his super, Frenchman strength, Andre lifts up the tomb, covers it in some several million Rizzlas, says “SMOKE THAT SHIT” before, indeed, smoking Tutankhamen’s tomb. Feeling confident, Andre sustains an erection, only to cut it off with a butcher’s knife. Andre can be heard screaming: “oh shit, oh shit, the blood is coming out like Niagara Falls”, but ultimately, to prove his ‘ardness’, Andre re-attaches his penis and says “did ya see that shit?”. As the next test, Andre inserts an umbrella into his anus and precedes to open it. Upon opening it, Andre’s anus collapses and his organs are heard falling out and piling up on the floor, Andre lost consciousness and collapsed minutes later. The tape still runs as the ambulance arrives and Andre is crane-lifted onto a stretcher. He regains consciousness for a brief moment here to exclaim, “FUCKIN’ ‘ARD”. After recovering from the incident, Andre decides to prove his ‘ardness’ by dropping his baby son on his head at his christening. Andre drops him in excess of 50 times, each time followed by exclamations such as “OH, DONE YA” and “OH, HE’S ‘ARD”. Following a couple of more exploits, Andre decides on his next test, to cut off his ‘bird’s boobs. The next morning, when she brings Andre breakfast, he cuts off her breasts, exclaiming “OH, CUT OFF YER BOOBS, OOOOH!” The album then continues with actual music, featuring a co-writing credit for a then –1966 Dimebag Darrell and Luigi. The highlight of the album is seen as the last track “The Never-ending Track”. To this day, Andre is still recording this track and it magically appears on the album as he records it.
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