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| - MAYBE I WAS FOUR OR EVEN FIVE MOONS when it happened. I was told to go fetch moss for Lilyclaw and who other than Foxpelt would give this order? I decided not to rebel this time and instead, I go to the tree with the most rotten moss. I've seen it here for a few moons and thought it might be good to prank someone...but this is even better. I cringe as I scrape off the filth with my claws and I roll it up into a ball and carry it back. I'm dismayed to find that Foxpelt is right in front of the nursery, glowering down at me with his menacing amber eyes. "What. Is that?" "It's moss." "I mean, what is that?" I look behind me but just see the Clan eating and a few ears swiveled to eavesdrop on our conversation. I turn back and glare. "It's moss." "That is not moss! That's slime. What were you planning to do to my mate, you little monster?" "I couldn't tell the difference, they're too similar," I take a deep breath, ready to spill the hurtful words waiting on my tongue. "Foxpelt? Everything okay?" Lilyclaw pokes her head out of the den. "Yes, fine." He waves her off and turns back to me. "Of course," He spits. "Course you couldn't tell the difference. Monsters like you see everything in a horrible point of view." I can't take it anymore; I start unsheathing my claws but Foxpelt snarls. "Don't even think about it." He cuffs my ear and storms away to talk to his friend, Nutclaw. I struggle back up to my paws and ball up the "slime" and store it underneath a larch branch making up the nursery. I might need this later. Hot tears sting my eyes and I turn away. No. Strong cats don't cry. Therefore, I won't. I've shed too many tears. I turn back to look at the eavesdropping cats who are watching me warily and I imagine clawing through their fur, grinning sinisterly as they beg for mercy. How amazing that feeling is. The feeling of cats that have wronged you to pay, falling to their paws. I wonder what that feeling's called. ~ I need to do something with my life. Moping around, watching Petalkit being showered with gifts from Foxpelt and eating chewed up food from Lilyclaw isn't enough anymore. I need more. I want more. I deserve more. Maybe I should've played along in Petalkit's game and acted like I'd forgotten about Grayflower too. Unless, Petalkit actually wants to erase Grayflower from her precious, tiny memory. Being a kit is horrible because now that Branchpaw, Rosepaw, and Azurepaw are out training all the time, I literally have nothing. Maybe I could visit the elders? There is nothing to do except listen to boring stories of them catching forty pieces of prey in one moon 'back in the old days'. Just as I'm walking out of the nursery, an idea comes to me: I should ask about Grayflower. So I walk down to the den and peek in. "Oh hi there, Tansykit!" Lightwind exclaims. "Hello." I say, trying to sound as tiny and innocent as Petalkit. "Are you here for a story?" Berrystorm asks. "Yes," I take a deep breath. "Can I please hear about my parents?" "Of course!" Blazeheart says. "Shall we back to when Foxpelt and Lilyclaw were apprentices?" "What?" I raise my voice. "No! No, no, no. I mean Grayflower and Foxpelt." The elders looked at each other in confusion. "But," Lightwind starts. "isn't Lilyclaw your mother now?" "But Grayflower gave birth to me." "I have some stories about Grayflower when she was younger." Berrystorm offers. I shrug. Why're the elders being so confusing? "Or you could hear about Foxpelt, Grayflower, and Lilyclaw." Berrystorm says. I nod, that didn't sound bad. "Why are you confusing the young kit?" Blazetail asks. "She wants to hear how her parents met, right?" "Yes." "So I will tell you; sit down." I find a spot to sit - a rock platform so I could face all the elders, raised like a leader. Blazetail blinks. "When they were apprentices, your father was such a quick learner. Foxpaw learned battle moves quickly so he was always sent on border patrols to fight off in skirmishes. Graypaw, however was very good at hunting and picking up scents, she was always on the hunting patrols." I take all this in, but what use is it to me? So my mother was a good hunter, aren't there a lot of those? "Now go to the part about Lilypaw!" Lightwind hisses. "Lilypaw, Graypaw's sister always had a little crush on Foxpaw and she tried to be "secretive" about it." Blazetail continues. "How?" I tip my head. "She winked at him, and whispered about him. About that secretive. Anyways, Foxpaw didn't really care for she-cats, he just wanted to be the best warrior he could be." "Yet he has had two so far..." Blazetail coughs awkwardly. "Yes, ahem getting there. But Foxpaw did want cats serious about the Clan. Graypaw cared about the Clan greatly and offered to go out hunting at least three times a day as the Clan wasn't getting enough. Foxpaw noticed this and often asked her to battle train with him and Lilypaw noticed that too. She tried to get Foxpaw to ask her by hunting well and he kind of did. But not really. "But Foxpaw and Graypaw just got closer and Lilypaw was super angry at her sister-" "Did Grayflower know Lilyclaw liked Foxpelt?" "I don't think. No, Grayflower isn't that heartless. I believe she loved Foxpelt too. Anyways, after they became warriors came the day when Foxpelt and Grayflower announced they were mates, Lilyclaw abandoned her duties for a moon, she never came out of her nest. She stayed cut off for a long time but would come out every now and then to sway Foxpelt but she would always fail and go back moping. But now, after Grayflower passed, Lilyclaw has your father, you, and Petalkit." I stare at the elder, disgusted. I feel my claws out, sinking into moss, picturing it was actually Lilyclaw's fur. How dare she try to make my mother unhappy? And get attention? "It's a sad story," Berrystorm starts. "but I'm glad she has someone now. And Grayflower must be happy that Foxpelt has someone." "It is mysterious on why he took a mate a quarter moon after Grayflower's death," Lightwind says and soon the elders are lost in gossip. I turn and run out the den entrance and towards the safety of the nursery. I see Lilyclaw sharing tongues with Morningtail on the way and feel satisfied. I come into the nursery to see Petalkit, Branchpaw, Rosepaw, and Azurepaw playing. I pause, noting of how they don't notice I came in. Then I turn back and walk to the back of the nursery, and stay there. Watching the sun set, the moon rise, the stars stare, judging me for everything.
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