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| - The play opens up with Richard McBeef, a slightly overweight middle aged man, sat in the kitchen reading a newspaper when his stepson, John, walks in and grabs a cereal bar. It becomes clear that the relationship between the two is strained, as shown by John's refusal to refer to Richard as 'Dad' and by the way he aggressively addresses him as 'Dick' (the term meant both as a shorthand for 'Richard' and as an insult). Richard tries to engage in a 'man to man' talk with John, but John rebuffs him and storms into the living room to watch TV.
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| abstract
| - The play opens up with Richard McBeef, a slightly overweight middle aged man, sat in the kitchen reading a newspaper when his stepson, John, walks in and grabs a cereal bar. It becomes clear that the relationship between the two is strained, as shown by John's refusal to refer to Richard as 'Dad' and by the way he aggressively addresses him as 'Dick' (the term meant both as a shorthand for 'Richard' and as an insult). Richard tries to engage in a 'man to man' talk with John, but John rebuffs him and storms into the living room to watch TV. Richard follows him and asks for John to give him a chance and to try to accept him as his new father, placing his hand on John's thigh in a friendly manner. John immediately slaps his hand and begins to accuse him of being a paedophile, referring to him as 'a Catholic priest' and 'Michael Jackson'. Richard asks his stepson why he hates him so much, and John answers this by accusing him of murdering his biological father in order to get inside '[his] mom's pant', which implies that Richard may not be the normal everyday individual that we previously assumed him to be. Richard tries to explain that the death of John's father was the result of a boating accident, but John accuses him of murdering him and covering up the crime 'like what the government has done to John Lennon and Marilyn Monroe' (an old tabloid titled 'The Cover-up of John Lennon and Marilyn Monroe' is then revealed). We learn through John that Richard worked for the government as a janitor and it is implied that Richard was jealous of the relationship that John's parents had. Richard unsuccessfully tries to stop the wrath of his stepson, which prompts John to threaten to insert the TV's remote control into Richard's backside. Out of frustration, Richard shouts and raises his fist to hit John. At this point, John's mother, Sue, appears and demands to know what is going on. Upon seeing his fist raised, she scolds Richard for being about to strike her son. He tries to defend himself, but Sue cuts him off and tells John to go to his room; John goes up the stairs, but decides to watch the spectacle from the top of the stairs rather than go to his room. When Richard states that he was called 'a son of a bitch', Sue is horrified and accuses Richard of lying, as she insists that her 'poor little pooey pooey boy' would never use such foul language; she also reveals that the death of her previous husband was only a month before the events of the play take place. John then (dishonestly?) accuses Richard of molesting him from his place at the top of the stairs, prompting Sue to swear, apologise to John for swearing and to strike Richard. She pauses to take of her shoe, and then continues with hitting Richard. When Richard brushes Sue with his large arm and build whilst imploring her to calm down, she interprets this as assault and flees into the kitchen, throwing a plate at him; this hits him in the forehead but he is unmoved. This prompts Sue to flee into the basement, but not before telling John to go to his room and calling Richard a 'fat piece of pork'. Richard follows her into the basement, causing her to ask if he is 'a bisexual psycho rapist murderer' and to plead for her life. She also throws assorted wrenches and pipes at Richard, all of which fail to stop him. He begs her to stop and drops down to his knees; Sue throws a few more heavy objects at him. Richard explains that John's erratic behaviour is due to him being a mischievous young boy who's trying to get over his father's death; he tries to placate Sue further by calling her 'honey-poo' and by offering her sex doggy style, which is revealed to be Sue's favourite position. The scene then cuts to John in his bedroom; he lies on the bed whilst throwing darts at a picture of Richard's face whilst reiterating his murderous hatred for his step-dad. Upon getting two darts to hit each eye, John runs down into the basement where Richard and Sue and still standing. In front of his mother, John accuses Richard of murdering his father (the actual line being 'that fat man murder dad') and of molesting him. Sue immediately takes John's (false?) accusations to be true, which makes her scream in anger and brandish a chainsaw at Richard. Richard then runs out of the house and gets in his car. He sits there for half an hour before John joins him, with the cereal bar from earlier in his hand. John then vents his full anger and resentment at Richard, stating that the main reasons for his dislike of his step-father are that he can't provide for Sue, barely making the minimum wage as a 'chef' in a fast-food establishment, and that he is a failure at life. Richard's list of past jobs is revealed to the audience, with him working as a janitor, a truck driver and a preschool teacher, all of which lasted for a month of two. It is also revealed that Richard used to be a professional American Football player, but his career only lasted three weeks. John mocks Richard for his figure and his sexual problems, calling him such names as 'McPork' and 'prematurely ejaculating piece of dickshit', as well as implying that Richard once ate three Big Macs in three minutes. Richard scolds him for hurling such abusive language at him; in response, John shoves the cereal bar down Richard's throat whilst calling him a 'giant tree trunk piece of ass'. After Richard spends a short while choking on the bar, John finally refers to him as 'dad' with the delightful phrase 'FUCK YOU DAD!' Out of sheer desecration and hurt, Richard responds by swinging a deadly blow at the thirteen year old boy.
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