| Contents
| - : Peter: Alright, red light. Time to text and shave and whittle and floss.
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: Stewie: You've just gotta do what Taylor Swift does and shake it off.
: Chris: Who's Taylor Swift?
: [Stewie pauses in shock]
: Stewie: Oh my God! Am I about to introduce you to Taylor Swift?
: Chris: What is she, a singer?
: Stewie: She's much more than a singer, Chris. She's ... she's ... she's the queen! A goddess! A gazelle in a high-waisted swimsuit!
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:[Peter fills out a form]
:Peter: Name ... Peter Griffin. Criminal history ... This section is optional. I will skip this.
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:Stewie: [talking to Taylor Swift] Okay, so let's talk about Harry Styles. Now, you don't have to say anything. I'm just gonna slowly pull out this tape measure, and you indicate when I should stop. Okay, here I go.
:[Stewie starts pulling out the tape measure]
:Stewie: Still going ... still going ... Oh my God, you bitch! Seriously?
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:Chris: Taylor, this is our sister, Meg and our dog, Brian.
:Taylor: Nice to meet you both.
:Meg: We're not all so impressed. I've met Dan Aykroyd.
:Brian: I'm sorry, uh, which cast member of Hee Haw are you?
:[Stewie runs up and starts beating them with the tape measure]
:Stewie: WILL YOU BE NICE!?
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:Chris: Sorry about my family.
:Taylor: Don't apologize. They seem nice.
:Chris: Well, you wouldn't say that if you ever saw in the movies.
:[Cutaway the the family in a movie theater]
:Peter: Alright, we got our popcorn from home, our soda from home, our snacks from home and Braveheart.
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:[Peter picks up a guy in his car]
:Guy: Hey, what's up? I'm just going to Quahog Stadium.
:Peter: Okay, would you like the AC on or the windows down?
:Guy: How 'bout both?
:Peter: Gasp!
:[Peter excitedly drives with the AC on and the windows down]
:Guy: Pretty great right?
:Peter: It is! It really is! Thank you, genius person!
:Guy: No problem. Hey, you ever go in a hot tub while it's snowing outside?
:Peter: UH ... WHAT!?
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:Secretary: Ms. Swift, your song writing team is here.
:[Two old Jewish guys walk in]
:Old Man: We've got a socko tune for you, Taylor. Hit it, Morty. [singing] Lox and bagels and bagels and lox. I like being a girl.
:Taylor: Okay, one thought. What if we changed "lox" to "boys" and "bagels" to "problems".
:Old Man: Oh, that's good! Like when you changed "Pickle it good" to "Shake it off".
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:[Chris, Brian, and Stewie appear in Taylor Swift's house]
:Chris: Hi, Taylor.
:Taylor: Chris? What are you guys doing here?
:Chris: I wanted to talk to you.
:Stewie: Your house is way nicer than Anne Murray's. We broke in there too.
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