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| - :Quagmire: Alright, I caught a fish.
:[fish goes into Loretta's blouse]
:Quagmire: Oh, Sorry about that, Loretta. Hey uh, can I have my fish back?
:Loretta: Awww, you're gonna have to reach in the cookie jar.
:Quagmire: Oh, uh, I can't just... You're my best friend's wife, ...reach in there, alright!
:Loretta: Yeah, you go in and get that. Show that fishy who's boss.
:Cleveland: Loretta, they have some of that three-bean salad you're so fond of. Hey Quagmire.
:Quagmire: Well. We'll uh, have to do this again sometime.
:Loretta: You name the time and the place, little neck.
-----
:Peter: To the Hindenpeter! [runs from the kitchen and flies Hindenpeter and crashes on Joe's garden again]
:Joe: Oh my God!
:Peter: Joe, I am so sorry.
:Joe: How can you afford these things?
-----
:Brian: So, they revoked your CPR card, huh?
:Peter: Yeah. I tell this is worse than when they took my library card for reading while intoxicated.
:[Peter reading while intoxicated]
:Peter: Aw, don't be ashamed of your hand, Johnny Tremain. You'll still have an exciting times. Aw crap.
:Police Officer: Sir, you know how loud you were reading?
:Peter: The life of a silversmith's apprentice was not an easy one, ahhh! [Peter crashes into a bookcase]
:[Back to the present]
:Peter: I gotta figure out some way to get that card back.
:Brian: Well, you could always take the class again. I mean, I'm sure they'll give you another card.
:[Loretta screaming]
:Brian: Hey, do you hear that?
:Peter: What?
:Brian: Sounds like someone's screaming.
:Peter: Well, what is it boy. What are you trying to say?
:Brian: It sounds like Loretta is screaming.
:Peter: Trouble at the old mill.
:Brian: What, are you insane?
:Peter: Did somebody fall through the ice?
:Brian: It's summer.
:Peter: Bobcat.
:Brian: [barking]
:Peter: Loretta's in trouble! Come on boy!
:[Peter opens the door]
:Peter: Peter Griffin, temporary suspended CPR...holy crap!
:Brian: We should go.
:Peter: Boy, that was embarrassing, huh? Walking in on Loretta and Cleveland having sex.
:Brian: Uh, Peter, that wasn't uh...
:Peter: You know, for a large heavyset black guy, Cleveland's got a cute little white ass.
:Brian: That wasn't Cleveland. It was some white guy.
:[Inside, Quagmire sits up]
:Quagmire: What was that?
:Loretta: Shut up and put some more of that sugar in my bowl.
----
:Quagmire: [voiceover] Oh, God, I'm screwed! This is worse than the time I had to fess up to the nation.
:[cut to Quagmire as Bill Clinton]
:Quagmire: My fellow Americans, I have not been entirely truthful with you. I did gigoogity that girl. I geschmoigiddied her geflavaty with my googus, and I am sorry.
----
:Cleveland: Loretta, is it true what they're saying? Were you really having carnal relations with another gentleman?
:Loretta: I'm a woman, Cleveland! I need some passion in my life! I need a real man, and Lord knows that ain't you!
:Cleveland: Well, I admit after a long day at work, I don't always come home with that "Reuniti on Ice, That's Nice" mentality. And for that, I apologize.
:Loretta: Apologize?! I cheat on you, and you apologize to me?!! Cleveland Brown, you are pathetic!
:Cleveland: I disagree, but I respect your condor.
:Loretta: [pushing Cleveland out the door] Good-bye, Cleveland!
:Cleveland: I love you.
----
:Peter: Cleveland, I think this beautiful woman would like to say something to you.
:Loretta: You told me this was Lois' intervention!
:Peter: Nice. Cleveland?
:Cleveland: Loretta, what you did was unforgivable. This marriage is over.
:Loretta: Well, that's just fine, Cleveland, 'cause I am through being your wife.
:Cleveland: Well, I may not be perfect, but I deserve better than you.
:Peter: Look at that, Lois. As beautiful as an HBO minority fairy tale.
----
:Peter: All right, Cleveland. If this doesn't light a fire in your belly, nothin' will.
:[He puts on a Quagmire mask]
:Peter: Hey! Look at me! I'm Quagmire. I had sex with your wife. Giggity, giggity, giggity, giggity!
:[Cleveland laughs]
:Cleveland: Those are so his mannerisms. [laughs]
:Brian: Peter, what the hell are you doing?
:Peter: I'm not Peter. I'm Quagmire. And I'm doin' you, Loretta.
:[he puts a Loretta mask on Brian]
:Brian: What the hell?
:[the two act out Quagmire having sex with Loretta; much to Cleveland's anger; Cleveland growls, grabs the Quagmire mask, and splits it in half]
:Cleveland: Glenn Quagmire, YOU'RE DEAD!! ["Popeye" theme music begins to play as Cleveland eats a can of spinach Popeye style. Steam proceeds to blow out of Cleveland's ears. Cleveland begins to storm towards the door]
:Peter: All right, all right, calm down, Cleveland.
:Cleveland: I'm gonna kill Quagmire! [panting]
:Peter: Oh God, you're hyperventilating! Chris, get me a bag. [Chris hands Peter a plastic bag]
:Cleveland: [panting]
:Peter: Okay, Cleveland, breathe into the bag. It'll calm you down. [Peter places the bag over Cleveland's head]
:Lois: Peter, I'm not sure that that's... [Cleveland begins grasping for air]
:Peter: Not now, Lois. Okay, Cl-Cl... Okay, Cl...Cleveland, Cleveland, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax. There you go. There you go. Okay, shh, shh-shh-shh-shh. It's okay, it's okay. It's all gonna be okay. [Cleveland lays on the ground, unconscious]
:Lois: Peter, you better do your CPR.
----
:Peter: Oh, he's not even kicking. Kick, Joe, kick!
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