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| - A recessed arena, ringed by tiers of bleachers to give onlookers an optimal view. Contents: Rumble Hack Steeljaw The Rules A small, short man by the name of Kjork Barrens arrives in Combat Pit 1, flanked by an entourage of...well...alien midgits with tentacles and about 8 Breasts. And they aren't shy about showing them to the world, either. He looks almost like some sort of demented dwarf, in a judge's uniform with a mangy beard and hair, a constant 'odd' look to his face. He approaches the microphone, and pulls it down to his level. "Ladies and Gentlemen. Mechs and Militants. Crustaceans and Plasmoids. We have here tonight four tiny titans of the known universe. These beings, through hard work, engineering, and ingenious skill of their creators, are living proof that small is...and can be better. Masters of Intelligence Operations, and other needed professions and specialties of war, they stand here today to prove who of them stands the best of the best. " Steeljaw stands on all fours, buffed with a fresh coat of wax to enhance his golden shine, he smiles slightly. While glad to be here, he's the only Autobot in the ring, and carries the expectations of both Blaster and his brethren in this match. All the opposing cassettes have encountered him before, and none are too happy with him in any way. He readies himself for what could be a brutal battle.... Are you ready? Yeah you think you can tell us what to do? You think you can tell us what to wear? You think that you're better? Well you better get ready... To bow to the masters... BREAK IT DOWN And making his way to the ring, Compile....
* The Original Degeneration X Theme Plays in the Background Compile walks down to the ring side and looks around then reaches under the ring and begins to pulls out stuff. He grabs a few TF sized chairs, and tables and toss them into the ring. He also grabs anything that is under the ring and then smiles as he shows off and climbs into the ring. He then walks to one corner of the ring and climbs the turnbuckles and presents himself. As he climbs down fromt he turnbuckle, he loosk at Steeljaw and says nothing. A smirk is on his face as he is ready for this. Hack walks up the strip from the edge of the combat pit looking rather bored as he puts his arms behind his head walking at a slow gait. He eyes the stuff Compile is piling into the ring and shakes his head slightly in disdain. Hack grabs the ropes when he finally makes it to the ring and steps in saying in an unimagitive voice, "Yeah Yeah invasion of the little people... Hoo-Rah you... are... going... to... feel... some... pain... my brother..." Hack looks over to Compile and asks "Happy?" Compile smiles "Could have been better." he says with a chuckle. "I hope your ready for some TLC?" he states as he leans against a turnbuckle. Rumble, that badass tape of doom, struts down into the combat pit. He flashes a few waves to his peeps and makes the odd rude gesture at Ollin if there's a chance that the President might see it. The Cassetticon stays away from his brother for now, but tsks as he glances at Steeljaw, "Only /one/ of Blaster's Legion of Sucktitude?" he shakes his head and sighs, "Well, at least dat means dis fight is going to be entertaining..." He raises his voice, "No point wasting ammo on the Autodork, guys!" he calls out to his fellow Decepticons, "He'll probably rust and die just seein' a /real/ team of Tapes in combat." Kjork glances to each cassette in their 'corner' of the ring in turn. " Rumble, Compile, Hack, and Steeljaw....I want a good, dirty fight with lots of underhanded trickery, use of improptu bludgeons, and whatever else makes someone else bleed. Factions and allegiance means nothing...I want to see people hurt, beaten, and maimed. None of that pansy assed 'We all win in the end' crap. And you'll keep fighting until you go unconcious...and that's no gurantee they'll stop shooting you, either. Four tapes go in..." The Judge smiles, the ring rising into a suspended cage within the pit, which closes under it. "...One comes out. If I had my way it'd be none, but now that the dramatic shit is over, start killing each other. NOW! " Ending the speech with a shout, he moves back to a chair scaled down for him, and takes a cigar and a light from his 'assistants'. " Damnit, they promised me a rocket launcher..." he mutters, waiting for the bloodshed to begin.
* BEGIN Rumble looks up at the judge and nods, "Pfft, and everyone was saying dat the judges were idiots..." he mutters to himself. He calls out to Kjork, "Yer alright in my book, judge! You want trickery, well you're gonna see the finest example of dat from the soon-to-be UNIVERSE TAPE CHAMPIGINION!" Yes, and Soundwave is uncrazimatic. Hoping over the ring, he draws both of his laser pistols, "Who to frag, who to frag, who to frag..." he spies Compile, "Dis here is for not showin' up to our match, you dink!" Ok, ok, it was both of their faults. You wanna tell him different? You have set the custom name for attack disruptor in mode 1 to "Disruptor Hand Slaps across the Chest." Compile smiles and looks "Well, we all ready know who the best is Rumble?" and he shrugs as he looks to the Judge "You got it Judge." and he does not wait for the word and rushes Hack. He runs right for the other Tape Medic and jumps to try to knock him to the ground. He lands near Hack and grabbing an arm if possible, slings him into a turnbuckle and then backs up as he poses and rushes Hack again at full speed. He jumps and begins the Mighty Tape Assault that he can do. He gets in close and charging his Disruptors into his hands he lays into Hack with mighty tape slaps. Hack's leg splits open and the holster slides out of his right leg. Hack cooly puts his hand on the weapon and draws out the weapon. He points it in Steeljaw's direction and says "You know... I've always wanted to try this on you... but it seems the whole olympics I just haven't gotten the chance to do it yet. Hack thumbs the selector on the gun and the depresses the trigger firing a nice big old EMP Blast at Steeljaw. Hack strikes Steeljaw with his Handgun: EMP Blast attack. Hack evades your Disruptor Hand Slaps across the Chest attack. You evade Rumble's Laser Pistol attack. Steeljaw charges towards Rumble, bounding accross the ring. " We have unfinished business, Rummy! " he snarls, nostrils flaring and claws extended. Lunging into the air, he attempts to sink his teeth into the cassette, " Leave me to sink in Trypticon, will you...." Its one thing to hurt Steeljaw. It's another to threaten him with a trip to the bottom of the Atlantic. Steeljaw strikes Rumble with I'm Gonna Make You My Chew-Toy!. Judge Barrens snears, taking a long puff from his cigar, and brushes away a purple midgit whom he was flirting with as the fight starts. " Stop sucking up, Rumble, and fight damnit. " He smiles as Steeljaw sinks his teeth into another person. " Now thats bloodshed..." and gets happier as the cat is blasted away in another swift motion. Then he realizes the attack wasn't even harmful, " You! Huck! Start using real weapons or I'll come in there and make you my new toaster! And the rest of you, start hitting each other! Damn robots..." He mutters, sitting back down, " Now come sit on papa's lap..." he says, patting his knee and smiling at the purple midgit.....assistant.
* NEXT ROUND Steeljaw is hit by the blast, just as his teeth sink in, and is pushed back as he goes limp, fighting the pulse as his circuits stop functioning, leaving the lion paralyzed on the ground. " Grrr...." is about all he can manage. Hack shakes his head as he just moves his gun arm out of the way as Compile makes a grab for it, and tries that pathatic bitch-slap. Hack asks himself, taking a line from Dr. Evil, "Why am I surronded by Frigg'in Idiots?" Hack turns the gun towards Compile and aims for one of Compile's Legs and says "Here... maybe this will teach you to stick to the plan next time instead of running off and doing your own thing there Compile." Hack thumbs the selector on the Handgun again and send some Hot Lead Compile's Way. You evade Hack's Handgun: Armor Piercing Ammo attack. Rumble smirks at Compile, "Yeah, we sure do know who the best is... me!" That'd sound a whole lot more convincing if he didn't miss Compile by a few miles. Taking the time with his shot cost him, as Steeljaw sneaks up - well ok, Rumble wasn't paying attention - and rips into him with these powerful jaws of his. He rolls backwards away from it and hisses, "Scram, cat! I got bigger fish to fry right around now..." Now at the edge of the arena, he glances around to make sure nobody sees him - everyone does - and reaches through the ropes and under the arena. From there, he draws out a wicked and devastatingly powerful weapon. It's big, long, and jet black. It looks like... nah, it couldn't be. It's just a replica... it's gotta be. It /couldn't/ be... well, it /looks/ just like Megatron's old gun. Hoisting the weapon the size of him up, he cackles madly and aims at the first sight he sees - Compile. But as Compile gets attacked, he shifts his sights... sorry, Hack m'man. Firing the weapon, the backlash sends him careening out of the arena. Rumble unleashes his Megatron's Revenge? attack on Hack, striking Hack. me=pose looks as Hack dodges and he thinks as he grabs a TF steel chair off the floor and slams it tot he mat. He then runs after Steeljaw and steps up to the plate. "Swing batterbatterbatter Swing!!!!" he says as he plants his feet and swings the chair right into Steeljaw's snout. As he swings, he sees Hack aim for him and he falls forward with the swing and pivots on his foot out of the way of the Ammo from Hack. "Nice, but work on your aim." he says as he brings up his hand for his next attack on Rumble. You strike Steeljaw with Chair shot to da Head. The judge pulls another of his companions closer, and blows a ring of smoke. " Well, well. You know, I was judge during the big Brawl of 24851..." he begins, and then sees the the chair connect to the Autobot, " Thats what I'm talking about! " he says, and eyes Rumble, " Get back in the ring, you uncharismatic refrigerator..." he yells to the Decepticon, before resting back in his chair. " Its so hard bein' me..." he comments to his entourage, who quickly fall all over him to 'comfort'.
* NEW ROUND Rumble scrambles back into the ring, still holding onto his very illegal and very dangerous weapon. He grins madly and sneers at the Judge, "Cram it, dork. Or else I'll cram this beaut of a weapon so far up your aft that it once again /will/ be known as the Slag Maker." Slag means the S-word, lets all remember. Taking a quick look around, he pauses as he spots Hack, "Sorry, Hack. It just so happens that I am just. That. Damn. Good." He shrugs helplessly as he just can't control his own badassitude. He swivels the weapon around and spots Compile aiming for him, "Ah ah ah ah.... Can't have that, now can we?" He fires the huge weapon, but its size messes up his aim and the shot blasts up high into the sky, striking a nearby wall. The wall falls... directly towards Compile, hopefully trapping him. You are temporarily incapacitated by Rumble's Trapped by a wall? Man, Megatron had the coolest settings on his gun attack. Hack gahs as he wasn't paying attention to Rumble get prices the price for it... Hack gets his just right under the left shoudler joint, and the arm completely Sheers off at the base. Hack clutchs his left stump and drops the gun to the mat floor. Hack howls in pain and cries out "MY LEFT ARM!!!! YOU BASTARD!!!!" Hack reachs down to the mat floor and picks up his own left arm off the Arena floor... he stairs it for several moment not believing he is actaully looking at his own arm still. He gahs and then looks at Rumble who is most liekly wearing one of those smug looks on his face right now. Hack charges Rumble, running across the ring and takes a swing at Rumble saying "Gah your going down even if I have to beat you down with my own arm!" Hack strikes Rumble with Hack's Own Left Arm. Compile smirks as he nails Steeljaw in the snout and looks to Rumble. "Yea, me of course. I'm the sexy one." he says to rumble as he raises his arm higher and fires at his brother not with his hand, but with his optics. They glow as he looks at Rumble and releases some lasers at the face of Rumble. As he does, he looks as the wall falls onto him. "Ah Sh......" is all he says as he is covered by the wall. The smack to his snout gives him the jumpstart he needs to get back in the game. It caused little damage, though, and only seems to fuel Steeljaw's frenzy. He roars loudly in fury, and finds an unoccupied target....in Rumble once more. He moves to strike, jabbing towards the exposed back with his claw... Steeljaw misses Rumble with its Scratching Post Maneuver! attack. Rumble evades your X-Ray Optic Laser Blast attack. Barrens sneers at Rumble, " You're gonna pay for that wall, you crappy excuse for a tin can. And all of you, start hittin' people for the love of Icshtek'df. My trigger finger is getting all twitchy, and I'm achin' to get myself some scrap metal to patch up my shuttle's toilet. " Kjork mutters, and gets a fresh cigar, having quickly finished off the first. " Thats the stuff...."
* NEW ROUND Compile spends this round, digging out of the rubble. "Your gonna pay for that Biotch." as he continues to dig. Dig...Dig...Dig... Hack glares as Steeljaw DARES to interrupt Hack beating on Rumble. He pops out his laser from his right forearm and points it in Steeljaw's direction and says "This fight is personal kitty.... why don't you go play with someone else? But first here chew on this as a lesson to you that you shouldn't interfere in other people's business. With that said Hack lets Steeljaw have it. Hack strikes Steeljaw with You Stitch me up. Steeljaw growls as he is struck, wincing as the laser runs a black, singed line through his armor. He growls, and begins to fire a massive spray of energized pellets at a high velocity. " Die, Deceptifreak..." he mutters. Steeljaw misses Hack with its High Velocity Pellet Guns! attack. Rumble does a happy dance as his poorly aimed shot still manages to hit and flatten Compile, "Woo hoo!" he pumps his hand in the air, causing Megatron's gun (I doubt it really is, but it's a good name for it) down to the ground as one hand just isn't enough to support it. That's when all the other tapes try to gang-beat him. "Oh slaggin'... you guys finally realized dat Rumble is just TOO good to handle one on one, eh?" he cackles and grunts as a rather pissed off Hack wacks him with his own arm, "Ow! Bastard!" he dives away, but it's a pretty poor dive due to the weight of the Cannon. Although it doesn't help him against Hack, it does help him evade Compile's last ditch effort before meeting Mr. Wall. As Steeljaw attempts to claw him, he raises Megatron's gun and the claws slash it and not him. Although slightly damaged, the Cannon is still badass. Aiming it at the last person who offended his being, he snorts, "You just can't get enough of me, eh Autobot?" he fires the cannon at him as he and Hack go at it. Believe me, he won't care if he accidently hits Hack. Rumble strikes Steeljaw with Laser Pistol - Gun 'em down!. Kjork smiles, and a dark red, hexaboobed midgit sits down on his lap and wraps her tentacles around him, lighting his fresh cigar, before making some clicking sounds. " Later baby..." he says, smiling. " If these damned machines would hurry up and kill each other..." The judge begins, snapping at the competitors. " And where is the fourth one? Crap Pile or whatever his name was? I'll have him melted down if he somehow escap-er, ran off from the fight..."
* NEW ROUND Compile climbs out finally and shakes his head. He looks up at the top of the Cage and smiles. He then looks to the others and smiles as he extends both arms "YOU WANNA.....GO?" and he looks "JUST ONE MORE TIME!!!!" and he waves the three tapes on with his palms "JUST BRING IT!!!!" With that, he jumps to the top of the cage and his body opens up with snap-hisses. Then all of the sudden, the ring is filled with smoke as he releases a barrage of missiles onto those int he ring. "Like I said. JUST BRING IT!!!!!" Compile unleashes his Degenercon Missile Drop from Top of da Cage attack on Rumble, Hack and Steeljaw, striking Rumble.
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