| Contents
| - :Meg: Wow, this looks like my room!
:Lois: Yeah, except for all the trophies and pictures of friends.
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:Peter: So uhh, Mr. Pewterschmidt, the big race is tomorrow eh? Bet you're gonna need some strapping men to help you with your boat.
:Carter Pewterschmidt: Are you calling me gay?
:Peter: No. No. I just-I just thought you might want some extra seamen on your poopdeck.
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:Peter: Oh my God: movable printing type. We must keep this from the serfs lest they gain literacy and threaten the landed gentry.
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:Peter: Wow! Lois, look at you! You look like Britney Spears!... Except you're not a fat guy.
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:Stewie: Oh and if the Cookie Monster calls, tell him I'm not talking to him until he gets out of rehab.
:[cutaway to the Cookie Monster in rehab, rehab workers come in]
:Rehab Worker: Contraband check.
:[They find cookies in his bed]
:Rehab Worker: What are these?
:Cookie Monster: I don't know.
:Rehab Worker: Well, I think you do know!
:Cookie Monster: No, really! Uh... Derek was in here... um, he was in here makin' the beds I was um, I was in the john.
:[The cookie monster then goes crazy and eats all the cookies on the plate. The workers pin him down on the bed]
:Cookie Monster: YOU GUYS ARE NAZIS, MAN! YOURE FREAKIN' NAZIS!
:[The workers sedate him]
:Rehab worker: Shh, Sh, Sh,Sh,Sh.
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:Peter: Hey, that's fantastic, Lois; and I'll pleasure myself with your photos.
:Chris: Me too!
:Meg: Me too!
:Peter: Ugh! Oh God, Meg, that's sick! That's your mother!
:Meg: I'm just tryin' to fit in.
:Peter: Get out! Get of this house. [pause. Punches through wall] I said now! [Meg runs out; Peter shuts door] That's good about your modelling, Lois.
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:Meg: Dad, how could you be okay with Mom parading herself around like this? I mean, she's half-naked; it makes all women look bad.
:Peter: Meg... who let you back in the house?
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:'
:Cookie Monster: Come on! Come on! [Notices Lois] Go away!
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:Lois: [Points to Carter] So, what're we going to do with him?
:Peter: Hey, wanna make him really mad, Lois? Let's have sex on his back like we used to!
:Carter:What the? Eeewww! Eew, Eeewww!
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:Stewie: [To Brian] Let's see, something good, something good...you look like Snoopy and that makes me smile. Something that needs improvement...you have smelly dog farts. Something good, something good....
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:Brian: Other employees? Who else works here besides me?
:Stewie: Fuck you! That's who works here!
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:Peter: Hey, everybody, Meg just had her first period!
:Joe: Peter, shut up! It's 3 in the morning!
:Cleveland: What the hell's going on out there?
:Quagmire: Dammit! People are trying to sleep!
:Peter: I'm just saying I'm proud of her! She's a woman! Yay!
:Quagmire: Yes, Peter, that's very hot and I'll deal with it in the morning, but right now I'm exhausted!
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:Room with three black women: Mmhmm!
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:Stewie: [after firing Brian] And don't think about coming back and shooting up the place, because security has your picture.
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:Lois''': Peter, I got a wax job, and let's just say you're cleared for a landing!
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