| abstract
| - In Dr. Cockroach's lab Sqweep: (enters) Dr. Cockroach, I request your assistance. My Earth studies assignment is to profile an Earth scientist. Dr. Cockroach: (dances with a graduated cylinder on his head) Ah, come to learn at the feet of the master, eh Sqweep? Sqweep: Well actually... Dr. Cockroach: (comes towards Sqweep) Splendid. Prepare to be awestruck. (takes the graduated cylinder off his head and puts material in the graduated cylinder causing the chemical to explode, and give him rabbit ears and nose; he also sniffs) (Sqweep blinks and Dr. Cockroach leaves the screen) Sometime later (Dr. Cockroach rubs his feet on electricity which causes electricity to go on his antennae while Sqweep types it up) Sometime later (Dr. Cockroach shoots a growth ray on a venus fly trap which ingests Dr. Cockroach; Dr. Cockroach opens the plants mouth and laughs, and then the plant spits out Dr. Cockroach while Sqweep types up Dr. Cockroach's actions even after he lands on Sqweep) Sometime later (Dr. Cockroach starts a mechanism which causes a laser to go through his body; somehow Dr. Cockroach's torso and legs move in separate paths while Sqweep types up Dr. Cockroach's action until the top of its antennae falls off) Sometime later Dr. Cockroach: Finally, (throws the metal lid behind him) a test tube of oxidizer. Ho hum, not much to see here; but (raises his tong) hello sugar cube. (winks and puts the cube in the test tube which causes an explosion) Now that's science: mad science! (cackles) (Sqweep coughs after its face being covered in smoke) Dr. Cockroach: Sorry, the washroom is (points to the room) over there. Sqweep: (puts its device by Dr. Cockroach and walks to the washroom) Thank you. Dr. Cockroach: (tries to look at Sqweep's device and turns away) No Herbert, Sqweep's inevitable gushing will just embarrass you. (walks away and slides to the device) Pfft, embarrassment. (reads what Sqweep wrote) Simplistic, crude, clearly more mad than scientist. Why that little----(deletes what Sqweep typed) Delete, delete. (types Sqweep's essay) Visionary, breath taking in his genius, an inspiration to young minds across the galaxy. (tries to for Sqweep's device and puts it down) Sqweep: That should be sufficient. Thank you again Dr. Cockroach. (sends the report from its device) I owe my grade to you. (leaves) Dr. Cockroach: Yes child, you do. In the living room Link: B.O.B., no; just no: skinny jeans on a----I just----No B.O.B., no. (Sqweep's screaming can be heard from its room) Dr. Cockroach: (in the hallway) What's all this then? (Susan, Link, and Dr. Cockroach runs to Sqweep's room while B.O.B. walks there while wearing skinny jeans) In Sqweep's room (Susan, Dr. Cockroach, Link, and B.O.B. enter the room while Sqweep screams while its antennae glow yellow and runs around the center of its room) Susan: Sqweep, what's wrong? (Sqweep throws its device on Susan) Susan: What's that thing? (Sqweep still screams while running around B.O.B., Susan, Link, and Dr. Cockroach) Link: (grabs Sqweep while covering its mouth) Listen, when I remove my hand, you stop with the screeching and the running and the whatnot. Deal? (Sqweep's shakes its head up and down and stops its antennae from glowing; Link drops Sqweep) Sqweep: That is a Zrob minus! Dr. Cockroach: (jumps up and down) Splendid. Sqweep: It is the lowest possible grade in the galaxy! Dr. Cockroach: Lowest possible grade? Sqweep: Yes, (stands up) I got it from my report on Dr. Cockroach. (walks pace to pace) I don't understand how this happened. I get good grades, it's what I do. (spins around while its antennae blink different colors) Without good grades, who am I? (falls down) Dr. Cockroach: No idea. Oh well, chin up and try harder next time. Ta-ta. (leaves with B.O.B. and Link) Susan: Oh Sqweep, (sits down) you're a good kid. Don't base your self-worth on one bad grade. Sqweep: Easy for you to say, (types up Susan's grade) your grades weren't exactly perfect. Susan: (stands up) One A minus in wood shop! And Mr. Holtzither had it out for me because my birdhouse was prettier than his! (leaves) In the thinking tank (Monger plays a video of him dancing with his arcade game) arcade game announcer (in the flashback): Booty dance, triple points. Monger: (pauses the video) This kind of humiliation will not stand! (flies with his jetpack around the table) I want to know who uploaded my shaking-and-quaking booty to every screen on this (slams the table) base! Link: Totes wasn't me. Okay, it totes was, but everybody loves it. You've gone viral big boy. Monger: (flies towards Link causing him to fall off his chair) And I need a cure. Sqweep, I want you to step up our cyber security. Sqweep: (doesn't face the table and glows its antennae blue) Whatevs. (plays a guitar sadly) Monger: And Dr. Cockroach, I'd like----(hears Sqweep playing the guitar and slams the table) Sqweep, you mind? I'm trying to conduct a meeting here. Sqweep: (faces the table) I reiterate, whatevs. (puts the guitar down and leaves the room with everyone staring at it) In the living room Link: Sqweep's so bummed. It's kind of bumming me out too. (drinks from a mug) Susan: Got to be something we can do. B.O.B.: Well whenever I feel sad, I sing, La la la la la, until I can't remember what I was feeling sad about. Like this, (circles around the sofa and claps while singing) La la la la la la la la la la la la la. (laughs) See? I can't remember what I was sad about: or anything else. Link: That's great B.O.B. B.O.B.: Who?! Susan: (walks to Dr. Cockroach) You've been usually quiet on the subject Dr. C. Any thoughts. Dr. Cockroach: Yes, well, I----I did it! I tinkered with Sqweep's report! I brought shame on the good name "Cockroach"! (whimpers) Susan: What?! Dr. C, that's terrible! You've got to do something. Link: Right, like change your last name. (sees Susan staring at him) What? I'm trying to help here. Dr. Cockroach: (stands up) No Link, there's only one thing to do. (claps his hands almost all the way around the sofa) La la la la la la la la la. Susan: (stops Dr. Cockroach) Or you could apologize to Sqweep for what you did. Dr. Cockroach: Ah yes, we could try that. In Sqweep's room Dr. Cockroach: (in the hallway) Hello, Sqweep. Remember your report about me: the Zrob minus one? Well, (giggles lightly and enters the room) funny story. You'll laugh, I----Sqweep? (gets Sqweep's device) Sqweep's teacher (in hologram form): Sqweep, you have yet to complete your science quiz. Also, I remind you that "whatevs" is not an acceptable answer. Failure to pass will result in expulsion from Earth. Hugs. Dr. Cockroach: (runs away with Sqweep's device) Ah! In the living room Susan: You can't find Sqweep anywhere? Dr. Cockroach: No, and I fear time is running out for the quiz. B.O.B.: Fate is forcing my hand. (takes Sqweep's device) You guys keep looking, I'll take the test for Sqweep. Susan: Right idea, (takes Sqweep's device from B.O.B. and gives it to Dr. Cockroach) wrong person. Come on. (Susan, B.O.B., and Link start to leave) In Coverton's room Coverton: Heavens no, I haven't seen Sqweep anywhere. Of course I'll help you find the dear child, soon as my mani-pedi is finished. Might take a while. Link: Could you stop with the toes? (accidentally tastes a clipping) Ugh. (tries to get the nail clippings off his tongue) Ugh! In the mess hall Sta'abi: No I've not seen Sqweep, but I will hunt the shameful quitter to the end of this Earth! (stands up) Staaaaaaaaaaa'abi! (runs away with her spear)
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