| abstract
| - Have you ever felt that irritable desire to solve some mistakes you’ve done in recent past, but you lack the power to get back in time and do the things in the right way? Let’s pretend that you do have that… special power. Let’s pretend that you somehow managed to get back in time, more precisely, one day ago, and you repair what you have done wrong that certain day. Therefore, that day must have an end and the future events should follow up what happened during that day. This is what I thought… I just graduated from my high school some time ago… I’m not sure how much, but it must be like a lot, according to my perception of time. I was preparing for my entrance examination, at my city’s University of Medicine. During my last, never ending semester, I dedicated myself almost no time in studying human anatomy, drawing upon my “trustful” confidence, that told me I could somehow make the grade. I was such a fool, considering the fact that I spent only my last three full days hitting the books, before having my exam. Under a permanent stress and a race against time, I felt that I only took some looks through all my biology manuals, instead of really comprehend every notion and all the theory. This is because I wasn’t studying hard during my period of a high school pupil. And also because I was an unmotivated and lazy bastard, not even trying to think about what I will do in my life. The only person that really kept my going on was my mother. She was what remained left from my family, since my father died when I was three years old, and I being the only kid. I knew I had to study hard for my future, I desperately wanted to, but my undetermined type of character didn’t let me do so. After all, it came, the “D-Day”. A hated by society, Monday. My alarm woke me up at around 6 past half AM. I hardly separated myself from the bed. I went to the bathroom, doing my morning routine. The weather seemed to be clear, with overcast later in the evening. I ate my breakfast with my mother, wishing me all the luck for that day. I told her that I will do well in the exam, but in my mind I was very disappointed about myself, not studying enough. I left the apartment at 8 AM and rushed to the University. I nearly got hit by a douche driving a Corvette while walking the pedestrian crossing. I entered the classroom at around 8 past half AM and received the sheets of paper, which contained about seventy multiple choose questions. Stress is all I can remember from that day, because in the first hour I just skipped a lot of questions, and answer those in which I had some knowledge. In the last quarter of the hour I randomly chosen some answers and hoped that they were the right ones. Time was up. I left the classroom disappointed, and went back to my home, thinking about what I was going to tell my mother. “Yes I did well, I will take a good mark, I hope... What I’m saying, of course I will get a good one.”… Those were the words spoken by me, to my mother, with a fake smile on my face. Then I received a warm hug from her, during which I resisted the urge to explode into tears. I took another look at the questions from papers, solved them again, and see where I did wrong. Since they were publicized on the web… I knew I was going to fail. I knew that I would not be admitted to the University. I had to wait another year before having the chance to take it another time. God, I was so angry! It was almost midnight and I was standing in bed with my eyes pointing at my ceiling since 10 PM. I didn’t know what to do and I was so irritated by the thought about why I didn’t tell my mom the truth about how I really did on the exam in the first place. I said to myself in my mind… “Oh dear God, please… please give me another chance… please let me relive today…” My alarm woke me up at 6 past half AM. I got up and turned it off. That was odd, because I didn’t set it to wake me up. I got back to my bed and try to sleep. Suddenly, I heard my mother yelling at me to wake up. I asked her what’s the matter. She told me on a doubtful voice, that I have my examination… I… literally was speechless… I immediately checked my phone to be sure. On my calendar it wrote, clearly, that that day was Monday, and the date that I was having my exam. I turned on the TV and the radio just to check what date is it again, and it was the same, everywhere, on every channel. The weather was again the same, clear and overcast during evening. I hit the ground running. I got dressed up, I kissed my mother, and I rushed, again, to the University. As I was walking, I saw the Corvette, that nearly killed my yesterday… or today. It seemed that all the events are repeating again. “Did I really traveled in time?” I asked myself. I entered the classroom, and I received the sheets of paper again, but I was not stressed, because I solved the exam. I knew I was actually going to cheat, sort of, but I was confident, because God answered my prayers. And I also knew that telling anyone what happened to me, would be a waste of time, since nobody would ever believe me. After two hours, I completed most of the questions from the papers, never being so happy in my life. I got home, and told my mother that I did very well, this time for real. After all, I thank God for this event, and went to bed later that day. My alarm woke me up at 6 past half AM. I got up and turned it off, again. I got back to bed. I wanted to enjoy some sleep. My mother yelled at me to wake up. I asked her what is the matter and she told me that… she told me… that I have my examination. I responded her “I just had it yesterday! Is this a sort of joke.” She came to my room, and slapped me into face, telling me with this attitude I will fail in my life. I was so confused. I took my phone and checked the calendar. It… It was Monday. “What the hell?”, I said to myself. It should, according to the way time works, that today must be, with no doubt, Tuesday! But no, it was Monday, again, since I was some kind of “Doctor Who” , but I didn’t know how I was doing the time travel stuff. I told my mother how the weatherman will predict the weather, with exact details. She was surprised, but that was not enough to convince her that… I don’t know what I was actually trying to convince her. Anyway, I got up from bed, dressed up, went out my apartment and walked to the University. I saw the Corvette again, but I crossed the street carefully this time I entered the classroom, I received the sheets of paper, I answered the multiple chose questions once again and finished the whole exam, this time perfectly. I went home, I closed myself in my room, and wondered. I felt odd, living with this constant déjà vu. I knew exactly how every event in this period of time will happen. Cars parked in front of my flat were in the same position. Even people I saw by my window were walking in the same fashion. I decided to stay awake that night and see if Monday will come after. There were few seconds until midnight. I was starring my phone’s screen, with my eyes focused on the calendar. My heart beat so fast, one moment I thought that it will break out my chest. I felt sweat drops coming down my forehead, reaching my left eyebrow, and then one fell on the screen. At the same time the scream turned off because of inactivity. I pressed the lock button. And I saw that today was… Tuesday. I breathed easily thinking that everything was over. I still didn’t wanted to sleep, so I stood awake all night. In the morning, I checked all the media sources to make sure that was really Tuesday. I even asked my mother if I had my exam. She sarcastically said that I didn’t. I nearly had a heart attack, before I found out she was joking. The day went smoothly. I went out with a couple of friends, I had fun but I was tired, after a white night. It was like 7 PM when I got home, and immediately went to bed. I checked again my phone to be sure that it wasn’t Monday, being a little bit paranoiac. My alarm woke me up at 6 past half AM. I rushed up and stop it. I took my phone and… terror kicked in. It was Monday, the exam day again. Was I really trapped myself in a time loop? This was the moment when I started to panic. I went out my apartment without saying a word to my mother. I thought at the mistake I’ve done. “Why in the Name of Jesus Christ I wished that?” Walking like a prisoner of time, I was barely moving my feet, slowly towards the University. I saw the people passing by. They were wearing the same clothes as the past days. The anger was building up inside me. During my unenlightened walk, I saw the Corvette once again. It, once again, nearly hit me. A bald douche swore to me. I got up, I walked towards the car, grabbed that person’s head with my bear hands and during an explosive rage I smashed his forehead to the side of the lowered window, breaking it then pieces of glass were cutting through his skin. I remembered how I kept smashing his head until the glass cracked open the nasal bone of his skull, then blood burst everywhere. One final hit got him stuck in a portion of the window, with shattered glass in his eyes! That must mangled and killed him! Blood was running down the door. My hands were covered in blood, my shirt was covered in blood, I was standing in a puddle of blood! Then I burst into a cry. I looked around myself and everybody was staring at me terrified. Soon the police came and arrested me. They told my mother what happened and they left her shocked… I wasn’t just a time prisoner, but a prisoner for real. I was driven nuts by some mistake I’ve done. And after all, I was standing alone in the cell from my city's police department, and started yelling at God for cursing me. “Why! Why you have done this to me! Why! Answer to me you fucking piece of shit. Answer to me…Answer to me…Answer to me…” After my breakdown, I prayed, and I hope that everything was just a dream. I soon felt asleep. My alarm woke me up at 6 past half AM. With no other thought I immediately checked my phone, and I screamed, I screamed the top of my lungs what’s going on! It was the cursed day of Monday! My mother came by and yelled at me what’s the problem. Furious I grabbed a pencil from the desk and as fast as you can blink I jumped in front of her and madness took me over. In a wrathful strike, I impaled it in one of her eyes and I kept hitting her with it… for an hour or so… my hands were wet from all the blood… I saw the most horrifying sight, no human being couldn’t ever think of. I saw my own mother, the only person I truly loved, and at the same time, the person that educated me… mutilated. The worst part though… is… that I did that to her… Blood was running down her nostrils, her left eye was completely crushed, it… it was no longer an eye. Her orbit was filled up with a red, gooey mix of blood and vitreous humor from her eyeball. My hands were shaking. I screamed! I screamed so loud that I can remember that I nearly destroyed my vocal cords. One of my neighbors came to my apartment after hearing those screams. I opened the door and insanity struck again. I took a kitchen knife with my bloody right hand and burst in stabbing the old man. I could hear him screaming and begging me to stop, but I kept going with the stabbing! I sliced through his chest, not only with rage but with passion. I… I enjoyed killing! I got up and I smashed his sternum with my foot. I opened his chest and took his heart out then toss it down the staircase of my flat. “It seems I’ve done my first heart transplant! Who needs that fucking exam anyway!” I laughed! With a evil and insane laugh I exit the flat, covered in blood, with a razor sharp stainless steel kitchen blade in my hand. I knew the events happened won’t matter anyway because, what the hell, I just have to take a nap and in the blink of an eye, everything will be normal again. My mother will be alive. That old man will be alive… So I was walking down the street, like a lunatic murderer. With my knife I started stabbing random people passing by. I was totally driven nuts. Two police officers saw me and started chasing me. I ran away from them. As I was fleeing from the cops, I suddenly stopped on a pedestrian crossing and saw a Corvette approaching with around 70 miles per hour… It hit me… I remember myself trapped under the wheels of that car, having my hands crushed from the them. I looked at myself and I saw… I saw my intestines and internal organs spread on the asphalt, and my own blood covering it up. My vision started to fade out. In the slow and unwilling death, I told myself that I’m free, at last… My alarm woke me up at 6 past half AM. I stayed in bed. This is it… This is how my existence will continue? Cursed to be trapped in a looping Monday forever? I knew that I have two choices left. I can stay awake until I die and then my alarm will wake me up, or I could start counting the days until I reach infinity. Am I going to live forever, and should all this course of looped events should be called living? Days passed by. I started doing what my instincts told me. I didn’t care. I wasn’t a human anymore. Sometimes I stayed awake few days in a row, but didn’t matter though… I am a man separated from the normal course of time… I am still counting days… and I ran out of numbers…
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