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| - I had him for 6 months, and nothing bad's happened to him. Henry's my best friend. I feed him, I talk to him, and I bought him this neat plastic castle with my allowance. Show everyone how you play hide and seek, Henry. (Henry swims around his goldfish bowl.......) See that? he waved to me with his tail. It's called swimming, Dr. Cousteau." Everybody else in the classroom begins laughing. Thank you for sharing, Eugene, and may I say a goldfish is so very....you. (Eugene smiles at him in agreement.) And now, Arnold, we're eager to share your world, what special part of it did you bring for us today?" All of the students ooh and ah in amazement...... Arnold walks up to Mr. Simmons' desk........ I bought this yo-yo last week, and the guys showed me how to do cat's cradle. Gosh..... And I can shoot the moon too. Arnold shoots up his yo-yo in mid-air a couple of times, but it lands right into Henry's goldfish bowl and kills Henry by accident. (gasps in shock) Henry! Huh? He's...... He's croaked, Eugene. I'm sorry, Eugene, I'm really sorry. It's a trick, i-it's a new trick, h-he learned a new trick, okay, roll over, Henry, (he chuckles nervously) you can do it, roll over, boy. Henry's deceaed body sinks back down to the bottom of the goldfish bowl. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Arnold opens the bathroom stall and he and Eugene enter it with Henry’s deceased body in his goldfish bowl. You gotta do it, Eugene, it’s time. Eugene walks around over to the toilet. Eugene carefully dumps Henry’s deceased body right into the toilet. Goodbye, Henry. Eugene tries to flush Henry’s deceased body down the toilet, but he refuses to do it. (teared up) Oh, I can’t do it, Arnold, (he Weeps silently) I had Henry since he was a little baby goldfish.” Okay, I’ll flush it for you, here. Arnold almost flushes Henry’s deceased body down the toilet, but Eugene stops him. (teared up) Wait! You really loved him, huh? Yeah. What if we bury Henry someplace we can always go visit him? that’d be better, wouldn’t it? Arnold and Eugene walk around outta the men’s restroom with Henry’s deceased body. There’s gonna be food at the house there, right? there better be a potluck after this thing. Shhh....... Okay, go ahead and put him in. Um, aren’t we gonna say something about Henry first? Like what? Well, it’s customary at funerals to give a eulogy for the deceased person or creature. Alright, since I’m obviously the most experienced public speaker of any 1 here………” Um, I prefer if it wasn’t you, Helga, no offense, but I’m not sure you really well appreciated Henry.” I appreciated him just fine, you pathetic little………(Arnold elbows her hard in the right shoulder) ow!” Gerald should do it. Yeah, yeah, Gerald, Gerald’s our right hand man. Gerald stands right on Henry’s tomb tire and clears his throat. Arnold……….. Arnold plays his silver harmonica........ Henry wasn’t the biggest of the best lookin’ goldfish, so no 1 came to buy him for a long time, he thought he’d never find a home, then 1 day, a lonely boy came into the pet store, he was kind of a geek, really, but he needed a pet and he wanted Henry and that was the start of a beautiful friend, Henry was a simple fish, he didn’t ask for much, a few flakes of fish food, his little plastic castle, that little guy with the mask, even though that didn’t turn out so good, but these were the things he loved and swimming, oh, yes, swimming with the big thing with him, right up to the end, when he was struck down in a bizarre twist of fate by a runaway yo-yo, and so we say, Goodbye, Henry, you were a good pet fish to the end. A light gray kitty cat jumps right into Henry’s tomb pit and takes away Henry’s deceased body now wrapped in tissue paper. Henry!” Arnold, Gerald and Eugene are now at the entrance to the pet store... Eugene, I feel really bad about this, but I'm gonna make it up to you, I'll get you another fish, okay?" Oh, I can't look at another fish, it's too soon, I'll never be able to replace Henry." Then how 'bout this? we go to the pet store and get you a different pet. Oh, gee, I don't know, Arnold...... Don't give me that look. Arnold (off screen) Excuse me........ The pet store owner turns to see Arnold, Gerald and Eugene, standing by...... My friend here's looking for a new pet. Pet Store Owner And may I say, what a thrill it is for me, I live to serve. Eugene Uh, can I see your bird? The parrot craps on Eugene's left hand. Eugene Ew. Pet Store Owner Welcome to my world. The pet store owner wipes it off Eugene's left hand, while Arnold picks up 1 of the hamsters. Arnold Hamsters are pretty neat. Eugene Hey, yeah, and so friendly. The hamster bites on Eugene's nose. Eugene Ow, oooh! Pet Store Owner: Bad chemistry, can't fight that. The pet store owner takes the hamster off Eugene's nose. Gerald is at the snake's tank. Gerald A snake would give you style, Eugene, you know, monchikasmo." Eugene Uh, I don't know, guys. Pet Store Owner It's a harmless little garter snake. Arnold Yeah, snakes are really cool. Pet Store Owner Try it on for size. The pet store owner puts the garter snake on Eugene's shoulders. Pet Store Owner See? it pulls your whole look together. Eugene Hey, guys, I think he likes me. Eugene Look, guys, he's giving me a hug. Arnold and Gerald do their usual secret handshake. Eugene (raspy voice) Guys? I can't breathe. (he gags regularly) Arnold, Gerald and Eugene exit the pet store. Arnold So tomorrow, we'll try another pet store, what do you say? Eugene Oh, maybe I'm just not supposed to have a pet. Arnold Don't say that, Eugene. Eugene But maybe it's true, maybe there are kids who just can't have pets and I'm 1 of them, it's okay, Arnold, I'll get used to it, honest, I'll see you later. Arnold Poor Eugene. Gerald He'll be okay by tomorrow, that kid always bounces back.
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