A lot of characters are considered two-dimensional, but few ever embody this trait in a literal sense. Chop Chop Master Onion is one of these proud few. An accomplished sensei and rap artist (best dual baccalaureate ever), Chop Chop shows up in the game Parappa the Rapper to teach the game’s titular character the ways of rhythm, offering the timeless advice, “Kick, punch, it’s all in the mind.” He also eventually goes on to host (according to Wikipedia), a “romantic karate work out [TV] show.” A talk show hosted by pirates, ninjas, and Chuck Norris couldn’t touch how awesome that is.