The General of the "Against Us" side in the War on Christmas is the Anti-Claus. The Anti-Claus resides in the Anti-Arctic at the South Pole and his cheeks are not rosy, his eyes are not bright, and his belly does not jiggle like a bowlful of jelly. Instead, his cheeks are ashen, his eyes burn like the fires of hell, and his thin belly rattles with the bones of his victims. The Anti-Claus attains Santa-like immortality by possessing bodies. He presently resides in Osama bin Laden Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, Saddam Hussein. The Anti-Claus is the Islamo's version of The Malcolm.