Welcome to the first ever choose your own adventure story on Uncyclopedia! YOU are the hero of this story. YOU choose which way to go. And YOU get killed in as many ways as I can think of. Just to prove it, here is a gratuitous and unnecessary use of {{USERNAME}}: is the hero! Anyway, the story... You (the hero) are given an ancient and mysterious map by an ancient and mysterious man. It's a map to the legendary Cheeseburger of Doom! What you do next is your choice!... File:Ninjastar.png