Born in New York City, Friesner earned BAs in Spanish and Drama at Vassar College and an MA and PhD in Spanish at Yale University. She taught Spanish at Yale University before becoming a full-time writer for novels, short stories and poems. She even wrote an etiquette and advice column in Pulphouse magazine called "Ask Auntie Esther". She lives in Connecticut with her husband, children, cats, and a bunch of hamsters. In the Starfleet Corps of Engineers series, a character on the USS da Vinci was named Esther Friesner (β) after her.