If I could be assed I'd do my very best to make sure the news of my article's creation was spread across Uncyclopedia faster than AIDS across a poverty-stricken African village. If I could be assed I would have tried to make that last joke not racist yet still funny. I would replace it with something tasteful like "insert tasteful yet funny joke here", but I just cannot be assed. If I could be assed I'd think of another way to say "If I could be assed" other than saying "If I could be assed" all the time to avoid repetitiveness.