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All right you slack-jawed, Elf-loving, inglorious bastards—simmer down! We're here today because some of you ugly runts have been complaining about a lack of "honor" in the arena, or some ox-piss like that. Look at you—a bunch of tuskless whelps with your heads up your arses! It's probably a waste of time, but I'm going to try to pound some hard-earned knowledge into your thick skulls. Always, always, always go for the crotch. Two or three times. A good kick in the nethers can make an ogre weep like a Breton girl who lost her favorite dolly.

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