The young Marslando Calrissian started a normal life at an early age, yet soon found it was not for him. Growing up in the rough churches of Adelaide, he fought his way to the top of the food chain the old-fashioned way - by eating everyone else. According to insiders, Dick relinquished his taste for human flesh to take up a career in radio, shortly after fathering the entire Partridge Family in what Doctors described as "A fucking miracle!!!" and "Probably bullshit...the ENTIRE Partridge Family? I think you're lying. See now you're laughing! How am I supposed to believe you if you're laughing?" and "I'm not a doctor but for $3,000 I will strip on some grass for you. Oh and yeah what you said about that family of partridges is totally true."