Ann Landers was the woman that got the rest of Great Aunt Hortense's will money and was also on Homer's watermelon he was supposed to bodyguard in bodyguard school . Ned Flanders called Ann Landers a boring old biddy after drinking a blackberry schnapps . Ann Landers is stored at the Springfield Shopper newspaper where she sleeps for 23 hours a day along with Dear Abby. Dear Abby comments, "My advice is to free us or let us die."