"Spelunky." You say to yourself. "Looks like a Terraria rip-off. Well, I'm all about casual sandbox games, let's check it out. I want to build a house or some bullshit like that." Stop right there. Well, I mean after you've paid for the game. OK, now stop. It's not your fault you don't understand the game. Well, it is, but the important thing is that you want to learn. That's why you're here. Read on, and I'll teach you all the things you never learnt about Spelunky in the four minutes you've known about it.