Oz (Tha CW) -- John Mark Karr stunned the world again with another shock confession, admitting that he, rather than a stingray, as previously believed, murdered Steve Irwin, explaining that it was "an accident." "You see, I accidentally mistook Mr. Irwin for a little girl." explained Mr. Karr. "I must have been pretty fucked up on shrooms, I rather suppose." The Democratic Party feebly countered this wanton desecration of the constitution by noting that they also strongly opposed perverts pretending to be stingrays so they could get free air travel.