Ophelia needs help with her latest romance. She met Horatio Bartholomew at a Lonely Hearts' Club luau, and Granny Frump objects to him. Gomez and Morticia both think he's a phony, and try to convince Cousin Itt to marry Ophelia instead, but he's not interested. Ophelia won't listen to them, and prefers the opinion of Grandmama, who saw in her crystal ball that he's loaded and would make a perfect husband. When she slides up the fireman's pole to see him, Gomez remembers Horatio's claim to have studied at Heidelberg, and thus be an excellent swordsman. Gomez decides to test Horatio and fences with him, and loses. He also loses to him at cards. Morticia tries to prove he's a ladies' man by flirting with him, but he rejects her for Ophelia. Then Gomez discovers that Horatio is actually the se