"Over the River and through the woods...." yeah, yeah fuck Christmas, especially when your grandmother's last present to you was the house she spent the last year dying in! Sure it's a pre-Civil War plantation that sits on 12 acres of beautiful wooded land, but I actually loved my grandmother and I would rather have her alive and healthy than this musty old house any day. How fitting that song would come over the radio as I was driving to my inheritance on Christmas eve. "You know, I think they've lied to us all these years. There isn't a heaven at all." I sighed. The tears came.