Often called the bastard stepson of Philosophy, Philology is an immoral and perverse desire to study the demonic utters of the non-English. The absurd and utterly un-Christian people that choose to devote their lives to this study often do so due to previous trauma, be it emotional or blunt-force. Thus, dazed and confused, these hapless people fall prey to the many 2 careers that a degree in Philology offers. They are, by their own warped sense of logic, led to believe that a Philologist is able to lead a richer and more fulfilling life than, say, a Banker or Insurance Agent, when, as any sensible person realizes, all three of these careers offer nothing but a lifetime of hardships and self-loathing. Sadly, most philologists fail to realize this before it is too late.