The American Politician is a two-legged, anthropomorphic form of politician found mainly in the United States, although a washed-out one turns up in Canada now and then (when their migration patterns--which normally take them to tropical places such as Florida or Hawaii, are disrupted by traffic lights or other things that confuse their navigation abilities). American politicians differ from British ones in that they have never actually visited the places they represent. They differ from Australian politicians in that they do not work a second job feeding hogs (except the ones from Iowa). Originally genetically engineered as a big “screw you” to King George III, these pesky buggers now control most of the free world. Politicians are considered an invasive species for two reasons: they have