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Franklinstein was born in the small town of Nowhere, Massachusetts, and although his parents' identities have yet to be confirmed, he is popularly believed to be the son of the Wicked Witch of the West and her illegitimate lover Oprah. He was educated overseas in Britain to escape the then-pending No Child Left Behind Act, but soon dropped out of school so he could run his printing press – originally started as a simple hobby – as a full-time job. This decision was due primarily to the success of his popular Poor Drunkard's Almanack, widely considered to be one of the first reference sources written in SPOV, and possibly the only one which does not once mention Oscar Wilde, as the latter was born considerably after Franklinstein's death.

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