Originally conceived as a way to save your crumbling marriage, your daughter has since provided you with years of anxiety, anguish, and self-doubt. Your troubles began when just hours after a long and laborious birth, relatives and neighbors began commenting on her uncanny resemblance to the mailman. Throughout her childhood and adolescence, you tried to provide her with all of the privileges and luxuries you were denied as a child. You thought that by nurturing her self-esteem and fostering her independent spirit, you would raise a confident, intelligent young woman. But in the end, you realized that you had spawned a whiny, ungrateful bitch.