Coco Pops are thought to have been invented by the Greek Philosopher Aristotle who is cited to have said "Socrates is dead, Plato is too concerned with the metaphysical, I shall learn from their mistakes by making a shitty, unhealthy chocolate cereal snack, marketed by a tacky monkey. Originally Aristotle used ingredients such as dirt and Cillit Bang, due to sugar not being invented yet. The cereal went down a storm with both Greeks and Romans, with His Majesty Julius Caesar commenting "Good Zeus! I just did farted cum-bubbles all over this guys toga." After the fall of the Roman Empire Coco Pops were lost and forgotten, due to the average medieval diet consisting of shit, Fray Bentos pies, ethnic minorities, arrows, mud and wildebeast. Historians such as David Starkey have argued that tha