Hi, kids! Welcome to Military Training with Joseph Kony! I'm Joseph Kony, the one and only, "Kony The Ugandan Hero". And it's so very splediwonderiffic to have you with me today! Before we begin, I just want to let you know that you shouldn't pay any mind to those guards by the door. They may look big and scary, but they've been instructed to shoot you only if you misbehave. Second, I don't want those chains on your feet to any way hinder your ability to have the utmost fun in this session. You can clap and cheer and sing praises to my name all you want! Yep. All you want, anytime you want. ...