No Offence is a fictional (unnamed) character in the sketch comedy The Fast Show, played by Arabella Weir. She is South African, orange in the face, has a high opinion of her makeup skills, and a low opinion of just about everyone else. Often approaching in attempt to sell perfume or makeup, she is brutally honest with distorted views of other people's worth and appearance. She offers her opinions (sometimes homophobic, misogynistic, ableist and always horrible) under the guise of concerned advice, tailing them at the end with 'No offence.'