WACO, TEXAS, August 27, 2007--Our Father, who art in Heaven has decreed that the night sky shall be darkened to commemorate the retirement of Alberto Gonzales as America's Greatest Attorney General Ever! During a surprise press conference, The Almighty God informed His Children that He would be staging a lunar ecplise to mark the retirement of Alberto Gonzales. After The Father rode away on a pterodactyl, a host of Angels finished the press conference with a request that everyone bask in His fury tonight between 4:51 a.m. and 7:22 a.m. EDT (1:51-4:22 a.m. PDT). ###