[Brows Held High intro] [Fade to Oancitizen reading "The Arden Shakespeare: Complete Works"] Oan: Yes, of course you need a prostitute who's heart is so golden she can convert people in one afternoon. God, fuck this play! [Slams the book, places it down, and notices the camera.] Ahh, welcome to Brows Held High. Well, April the 23rd has come and gone and I'm sure you all celebrate that day with all the pomp and... Oh, what's that? You don't celebrate April 23rd? Well, you should because that's the day internationally recognized as the day William Shakespeare [Says the name in a sophisticated English accent] was born.