"It's the birthday of novelist Elmer Gluesniffer, born in Intercourse, Pennsylvania in 1961. He wrote his first novel, The Flasher Only Rings Twice in 1983, when he was just twenty-two years old. The protagonist, a misunderstood ex-figure studies model facing middle age, copes with his sagging body and diminishing profile as best he can, by displaying the remains of his earthly gifts door-to-door, to a series of unsuspecting strangers. "Here's an excerpt from Elmer Gluesniffer's debut/swan-song novel, in celebration of his birthday: