Teesside is the largest crevice in the whole of the UK. It is the second capital of the county town of Britain, and the third capital of Europe. Teesside is situated in the river Tees, like a North-Eastern lost city of Atlantis, but nobody ever wants it to resurface. There are 43 inhabitants of Teesside, all are presumed dead or AWOL. The population split is 54% Tesco/other employees, 3% unemployed, 6% Malleable club presidents, 1.3% Transporter Bridge enthusiasts and -4% disorienatated Norwegian oil tanker drivers. Tragically; 67% of the less humorous contributions on this page originate from less fortunate UK citizens who have never had the pleasure of visiting Teesside-upon-A19. Teesside, as an area rather than a county, city or town does not have a democratically elected leader, but in