Compere -- Welcome ladies and gentleman to the 17th Annual International Mathematics convention, Bangkok. Thank you to King Adulyadej for allowing us to use this fine centre; may all his coups be successful to the 100%. Yes everyone, inhale to the King... no? Tough crowd. Anyway, toilets are behind the giant supercomputer that does sudokus and the bar only serves non-alcoholic beverages before 7pm. So with no further ado I shall hand over to Professor Goldberg for a presentation on the little understood field of... *sigh* Schoolean Algebra. __TOC__