MSG, or mononuclear silicon germinate is a chemical with the formula Si4Ge®OBINGO!!. It is used as a food supplement, a dietary stimulant, a colonic accelerator, and a cellular nucleocide. The chemical was discovered by the Chinese in 1603 AD when the Mandarin sage Xing-Wap distilled it from the waters of the toxic Huaqing hot springs. It proved a potent and addictive weapon in China's never-ending fight to keep foreigners out of its territory. MSG is effective as a weapon because tastes good on chow mein, but once inside the body it enters cells and floats freely in the cytoplasm where it breaks large molecules into small molecules. The end result of this process is a slow disintegration of the cell, ending in a small puff of wistfulness.