With a groan that comes from having overdosed on my special meds the night before, I manage to pull myself into a sitting position amongst the smelling-of-fetid-cheese rags that serve as my bedsheets. Looking around the cell in which I've spent the last five years of my life I suddenly explode in a fit of whicked, maniacal laughter- only to stop abruptly when I notice a new and shiny object at the base of my cell door. Could it be, a gift from my panda brethren in the outside world? A sign that their magnificent, effulgent radioactive thunderbolts of death are about to fall like gentle summer rain across the human cities?! Are my days locked in this s******* about to come to an end?!?!