So, I'm rewriting this one, and I've had a bit of fun with it so far, but while I'm kind of enjoying it, I'm not that sure about it, so I'd like to know if this is moving in a good direction, and if there are any suggestions for steering it to a more satisfying conclusion (I have considered having the author explode, but figured that was just too predictable). Thoughts, comments, suggestions welcome, an in-depth review would be preferable, thanks. -- 12:51, Jun 24 I'll take this one. It'll be done later tonight, but from what I've seen so far it'll be an enjoyable review!