Colonel Sassacre is a famous humorist, and the author of Colonel Sassacre's Daunting Text of Magical Frivolity and Practical Japery. His wife is legendary pastry Baroness Betty Crocker, who owns the company of the same name. His dog, Halley, is the genetic template from which Becquerel is created. Colonel Sassacre's life follows that of his real-life counterpart, Mark Twain. Mark Twain died on April 21, 1910, following the perihelion of Halley's Comet. The Colonel died the same day, and when a meteor hit the dog house of his dog, Halley.