Back when the The Lord of the Rings was written, it was a time when people were very mean and nasty and used obscene, racist, ageist and sexist terms, amongst other things. This new, updated version of Lord of the Rings is an attempt to correct those wrongs. Now, don't get me wrong. I am not calling J.R.R. Tolkien a bad man; we are not calling anyone bad. We are saying that he was basically good, but he had some less-than-benevolent habits. I am certain that today he would realize his mistakes and would be more than willing to correct them, given his basically good tendencies. So without further delay, we present to you, the Politically Correct Lord of the Rings.