Well, you know what they say, here in Glorious Яussia. Everyone appreciates freezing in their Siberian holiday lodges, and burning grandma for fuel. But what about the heroes who made this country what it is? That, my son, is why I shall tell you this scary story, because this is the time of year when capitalist pig-dog-monkeys scare the shit out of their children and give them candy. Since there is no candy in Glorious Яussia, I guess you'll have to make do with the out-of-you-shit-scaring. I advise you to get away from the picture of Stalin, because you know what happened when your brother Vodkask used that one of those as toilet paper in the Great Paper Shortage of 1948....