We got up early this morning because Devon is a long way from North Wales. My brother, Rhys, had Coco-pops for breakfast but I had toast because Coco-pops turn the milk brown and make it look like diarrhoea. Rhys can't spell diarrhoea even though he's in year nine but he says he doesn't care because he's too cool for school, which means he's an idiot. Mam says Rhys is an undiagnosed dyslexic, which also means he's an idiot. Rhys can't spell "dyslexic" either, because he is an idiot.